


Golden Eyes and Shivering Lips

by pyske



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkwardness, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Implied Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Implied Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Love at First Sight, M/M, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Pining, Poor Kenma his life is a mess, Poverty, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Stripper! Kenma, This is not that angsty I promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-19 20:58:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5980744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyske/pseuds/pyske
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo hated what he was seeing, because he could still discern the cold and emotionless look on the boy’s fragile face. He didn’t want to be here, doing an obscene dance for perfect strangers. For some reason, Kuroo felt linked to that boy. He felt something he had never sensed before, and he knew that he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t talk to him at least once.</p>
<p>“Oi, Kuroo, are you okay? Do you want to go?” Bokuto suddenly asked, making him jump.<br/>“I…I think I fell in love.”</p>
<p>(Kenma's life is a mess and Kuroo's heart is confused.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first Haikyuu!! fanfic and I am quite nervous to post it! This whole story has already been written, but I decided to post it little by little (I love suffering). I hope you'll like it, I put a lot of time into it. Also, english isn't my first language, so please tell me if there is anything wrong about my writing. Kudos and comments are very appreciated!

Kuroo Tetsurou was not pleased when he discovered where his two best friends planned to take him for his eighteenth birthday. The boy had never been as confident and flirty as the rumors said. In fact, he only enjoyed innuendos when they weren’t even slightly serious. Any discussion about his romantic life made him want to melt on the floor. He didn’t believe his friends when they told him that they were going to a strip club. And a gay strip club, above that.

Not that Kuroo minded the last thing, though.

“Oh, come on, Kuroo,” Bokuto, his best friend, had insisted. “You’re handsome, tall and you’re still single. What’s holding you back?”

Kuroo had never liked that kind of thing. He couldn’t enjoy himself because he knew that the person in front of him probably loathed dancing in front of greedy men who were twice as old as them. He didn’t want to go hang around old, perverted men that only came to see young boys in sexy underwear. The teen was always the first one to make awkward sexual jokes, but when it came to real life action, he was rather scared and clueless.

A brown-haired guy, a playful grin planted on his face, suddenly appeared behind Bokuto and nodded in agreement. Oikawa was quite the mischievous type. You could tell just by looking at him that he was never up to no good. In fact, he was the one that had planned it all. For him, the fact that Kuroo was still on its own while both he and Bokuto had boyfriends was unacceptable.

“Relax a little, Tetsu-chan,” he said while ruffling the younger guy’s already messy hair. “You’re so stressed out because of school, why don’t you let go and come with your best friends? Iwa-chan and Keiji-chan gave us permission.”

At that moment, Kuroo laughed, closing his eyes and holding his stomach. Asking your boyfriend permission to go see other guys dancing suggestively must have been uncomfortable. All of his friends had done so many things just to cheer him up. After all, why was Kuroo acting so stiff? He had always been the teasing, disobedient boy in the squad.

He finally accepted, which earned him a bear hug from Oikawa and a fist bump from Bokuto. Kuroo truly loved his friends, even if they could sometimes be somewhat exasperating. Lately, they had been planning on moving in a new place together, since they were all studying in the same college nearby. Kuroo thought about how noisy and chaotic their life would be if they lived in the same apartment and smirked. However, if Akaashi came by once in a while, they would have to clean it all up if they didn’t want to be scolded. Bokuto’s boyfriend could be severe, at times.

Right now, the trio was in the middle of a coffee shop. Oikawa had insisted on making them taste their newest melon bread, which made Kuroo a bit reluctant. His friend was a real gourmet; or at least, he tried his best to become one. The older boy’s snobbish attitude could often be misleading. He pretended to be above everything and everyone, but in fact, he was very caring and always helped whenever someone had a problem. He was often hiding his bitter feelings behind overconfident and self-centred manners.

Kuroo brought the weird looking bread to his mouth and carefully took a small bite. Both of his friends were staring at him, waiting for his judgment.

“Oikawa, you can be a pain sometimes, but this is _good_ ,” he finally declared while putting it all at once in his mouth.

“Tetsu-chan, don’t do that! You need to savour it!” His friend gasped exaggeratedly while Bokuto did the exact same thing behind him, amused.

Finally, the group left the shop and walked towards Bokuto’s house to get dressed properly. They went here so often that most of their clothes were mixed with his. You could easily tell them apart, since the shorter boy mainly wore shirts decorated with owls and other type of predatory birds while Oikawa liked cute and up-to-the-minute outfits. For his part, Kuroo preferred dark and simple shirts with random printed logos. He also had black earrings and two piercings on his ear’s cartilages, which he kept triturating when he was feeling nervous. Some people would say that his style was trendy, but he simply didn’t have enough money and motivation to go and buy designer clothes. After all, he was a worn-out college student.

When they entered Bokuto’s small apartment, Akaashi was laying on the sofa, a pile of perfectly folded clothes beside him. He looked slightly pissed off, as always, but they all knew that it was only a facade. The younger boy looked up and noticed that his boyfriend wasn’t alone. He muttered a soft “happy birthday, Kuroo-san” and then proceeded to mess up Bokuto’s black and white hair before going to lock himself in another room, declaring he didn’t want to hear the immature jokes they had to tell him.

It was already about 9PM, which meant that Kuroo and the others still had two hours to prepare themselves, if they were still sticking to the original plan. It was decided that Oikawa would go last in the shower, since he always made them run out of hot water. The chocolate-haired boy tried to argue, but his friends brutally put their hands on his mouth as he was going to open it.

In the end, the guys were all ready one hour and a half later and Akaashi exceptionally came out of Bokuto’s room to kiss his boyfriend. Of course, Oikawa asked teasingly if he could also have a kiss, which earned him a synchronised slap from both Bokuto and Akaashi.

After a short bus ride, the trio arrived at the strip club. Kuroo was starting to get nervous. He knew that he was technically legal, since he was an adult now, but he was still feeling guilty. Bokuto squeezed his arm and told him to have fun. After all, it was these guys’ job to entertain them.

As soon as they entered, Oikawa started looking around, impressed. The room was big and separated into three stages, where you could see a couple dancers moving around in flamboyant clothes. The music was catchy and the ambiance made everyone more relaxed. Kuroo felt better as he saw the look his companions’ faces; maybe they were right, after all. He needed to let himself go. The muffled beat reverberated on the floor and resonated in his entire body, giving him the weird impression that his heart was beating with the rhythm.

Bokuto grabbed his friends’ hands and slipped through the crowd to get a better view of the nearest stripper. He was a rather young man, very tall and muscular. He was wearing black boots and high tights which were attached to his latex underwear. His hips were moving gracefully and his sensual look hypnotized everyone. As he ripped off his soaked t-shirt, the mass cheered and was recompensed with a suggestive grind from the boy.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Kuroo stopped to stare at the dancer and gazed at the other stage. There was a group of men, older this time, but they still had their clothes on. They were doing the classic policemen choreography and the sudden view of handcuffs and tight uniforms earned them a strong reaction. Kuroo sighed, trying his best to look pleased. He again wondered what was wrong with his lack of sexual reaction. Indeed, he was more interested by the complexity of the dance that by the bulge in their pants.

The boy kept looking at the other strippers, who were all dancing and acting very differently from one another. He saw a short boy with a skirt and high heels, an old man in leather boots and there was even another group of men doing a dance with whips and cowboy hats.

Unexpectedly, Kuroo noticed that there was a fourth stage, hidden in the back of the huge room. It was quite far, but he could perceive a metallic pole and a chair, along with multiple seats in front of the area. The place was starting to get crowded, but the lights were still off. Intrigued by the show, Kuroo asked Oikawa and Bokuto if they wanted to go see what was going on. You could already hear some guys call out a name, but it was impossible to perceive it correctly.

As the friends approached the scene, they could start to understand what the people were shouting.

“What’s happening here?” Oikawa asked to a friendly-looking man.

“It’s the best part of the evening. His scene name is Feline,” he simply answered like it was common knowledge. “He’s always wearing a mask, but he’s everyone’s ultimate favorite.”

Without warning, the spotlight flashed and the black lights turned on. A soft and sensual music started to play and a pretty, petite boy came out of the back of the stage. He was wearing a purple corset that showed his slim figure and delicate curves. The costume hid all of his stomach and chest and stopped just under his ass, like a girl’s underwear would. His high and laced black boots came up to his knees and the high heels made him look taller than he really was. It reminded everyone of the costume a female exotic dancer would wear, but it was made to emphasize a small man’s forms.

Even though the boy’s outfit was as attractive as it could be, Kuroo was focused on his face. His traits were delicate and his skin was as white as milk. He couldn’t really see his eyes because the dancer was wearing a purple and black cat mask. It was beautifully highlighted with silver glitters and black lace. The only thing you could clearly distinguish was the boy’s pink and impassive mouth. His hair was dyed blond and shoulder-length, but it seemed like it had been a while since he had coloured it because you could notice dark brown roots starting from the top of his head. Locks of straight hair were falling gracefully in front of his face, adding even more secrecy and tension to the scene.

The crowd started to scream the stripper’s name, but Kuroo didn’t join. He was fascinated by this person and the thing he least wanted was to see him dance erotically in front of a lot of people. His hair seemed so soft and there was nothing vulgar in his blank expression. In all of the dancers he had seen tonight, this boy was the only one that didn’t seem happy to be on stage, and Kuroo wanted to take him out of here and bring him to his house to simply talk to him in front of the comforting fire in his chimney. Was that uncanny? It surely was, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about how he didn’t want this boy to be standing there on a scene, half-naked for the crowd’s insatiable enjoyment.

At that moment, Feline started to dance. He moved his hips to the beat and approached the chair slowly. He positioned himself so his legs were spread on both sides of it and that the back of the chair was facing the crowd. He started to grind sensually, still following the rhythm. Then, he stood up and walked towards the metallic pole. He grabbed it with both hands and skillfully started to move around it, twirling his small legs around the bar and rubbing his upper body on it. His hair was starting to cover his face more, so he threw his head back gracefully. He then proceeded to lift himself up, placing the metal between his thighs so he could move his arms freely. For a brief instant, Kuroo thought that their eyes had met. His heart stopped and he blinked, uncertain of what had happened. Did he really look directly at him, or was it just an illusion?

After a while, he got down on the floor and started to move his knees on the floor, as if he was pushing himself into something. He obviously had been doing this job for a while and Kuroo’s heart waved rapidly at the thought. He hated what he was seeing, because he could still discern the cold and emotionless look on the boy’s fragile face. He didn’t want to be here, doing an obscene dance for perfect strangers. For some reason, Kuroo felt linked to that boy. He felt something he had never sensed before, and he knew that he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t talk to him at least once.

“Oi, Kuroo, are you okay? Do you want to go?” Bokuto suddenly asked, making him jump.

“I…I think I fell in love.”

“Yeah, we all did,” Oikawa came in, chuckling.

By the way the younger boy stared back at him; Oikawa could tell it wasn’t one of his usual jokes. His smile slowly faded and both of his friends stared at Kuroo with perplexity.

“You can’t be serious. How the fuck do you expect to be able to approach this guy? The men here are basically his fan club,” the brown-haired boy continued, worried. He also found the dancer on stage eye-catching, but it was only that. He didn’t know what was going on inside of his poor friend’s mind.

The concerned truly didn’t know what he was going to do, but one thing was for sure: he was going to do _something_. He was going to find his name or wait after the show to see if he could talk to him. This mysterious dancer wasn’t going to spend his life here, at a club full of disgusting men. Kuroo was going to help him get out, for both of their sakes.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo's heart and mind are troubled. He tries his best to talk to this mysterious dancer. Hinata Shouyou will save us all.

Shortly after Feline’s performance was over, people started to leave and others went to see if there were still some interesting shows going on. Kuroo, for his part, was having a weird conversation with Oikawa and Bokuto.

“What do you mean, you saw more than his body? Kuroo, you’ve been weird as hell lately,” said Bokuto. He couldn’t understand why his friend kept on talking about how he wanted to get to know a random stripper.

The youngest guy didn’t know what was wrong with him. He just knew that when he had seen this boy, his heart had stopped. Maybe it wasn’t the perfect moment to feel something other than just sexual desire, but for Kuroo, it had never been like that. Friendship and romance always came first. He perfectly knew that coming here tonight wasn’t a simple accident. Some kind of twisted fate brought him here, at this exact place, to see this person.

“My heart is a pole and he is dancing around it, bro, I _need to talk to him_ ,” Kuroo chuckled nervously, passing his hand through his messy black hair. He was trying to lighten up the mood, but it was still at least half true.

That’s how the trio ended up waiting three more hours just to go talk to the manager of the club. Bokuto tried his best to support his friend and Oikawa was starting to create an overly romantic scenario that could happen if Kuroo and that exotic dancer really did end up together. They truly were his annoying but loyal best friends, and he was incredibly thankful to them. It didn’t happen often for their youngest companion to have whims, but this one was important.

Finally, after all the customers were gone, the boys approached the back of the stage and noticed a door. Oikawa slowly knocked on it, unsure of what he was going to find in there. Bokuto poked him in the abdomen. After all, the strippers were just dancers. There was nothing intimidating about them, except maybe the fact that they were way more attractive than the three of them reunited.

A tall, blonde man with piercings and dreadlocks opened the door, a cigarette in his hand. He seemed menacing, but his peaceful attitude betrayed the fact that there he was not here to cause trouble. He looked down at the visitors with a surprised look on his face. He obviously wasn’t used to seeing young men like them coming in to ask questions. Normally, it was just shady people wondering if they could buy one of the dancers as a prostitute, to which the answer was a categorical no.

“What do you guys want?” The blonde expressionlessly asked.

“Can I talk to the dancer nicknamed ‘Feline’? It…it’s not for anything weird, I promise, I just want to know his name,” Kuroo maladroitly asked, playing absentmindedly with his left piercing. He was blushing, unsure of how to tell this tall man how he wanted to get to know more about one of his workers.

The guy glowered at Kuroo. “No. I know the old tricks, man. Feline is particularly asked for this kind of thing. Go home.”

He then proceeded to close the door without waiting for an answer. The three friends looked at each other, disappointed. However, the youngest wasn’t going to give up. He told them that he was going to come back here every night if that was what it took. Decidedly, he was really serious about this infatuation at first sight thing.

“Bokuto, don’t tell me you don’t understand how I feel. Remember when Akaashi first came in the gymnasium? You were on the phone with me _all_ night, wondering about where he had been all your life,” Kuroo remembered with a smirk. That was true: when the owl-loving boy had taken a look at the new member of his team, he had fallen…Literally and figuratively.

So that was how Kuroo Tetsurou ended up coming back every night to a gay strip club he didn’t even like to try and find a way to communicate with this mysterious dancer. He wandered around the place, meditating on his own thoughts and planning the things he would say to the beautiful boy if he ever talked to him. As confident as he seemed, he was really awkward when it came to romance.

 After three nights of failed attempts to catch the cat-like man after his performances, he had started to make friends along the bartenders. One of them, a short and orange-haired waiter, had noticed that one of his customers didn’t seem to be there just to enjoy the view.

“Hey, I see you every night here, but you never watch the shows… Can I help you with something?” He carefully asked with a wide smile. Kuroo could distinguish the name ‘Hinata’ on a tag sewn to his black shirt. He didn’t seem threatening at all, so the taller boy guessed that he had nothing to fear and told him the truth.

“This may sound creepy, but I really want to talk to one of the dancers, the one nicknamed Feline. Do you know him?”

Hinata gave him a suspicious look. Kuroo could feel his brown eyes analyzing his expression; he was trying to tell if he could trust him or not. Finally, he declared:

“I do know him, and we’re quite close, actually. It’s just that numerous weird men have come here and tried to supposedly ‘talk’ to him and it didn’t really, hum…end well.”

His interlocutor cringed at the thought of unreliable guys harming the boy that had been on his mind since he had first seen him. He knew that in this sort of business, the worker’s chances of being sexually abused were really high. The soft skin and the empty expression of the dancer came back to Kuroo’s mind and he felt his cheeks burn.

Encouraged by the progress he was making, he asked a riskier question. “Do you think you could, uh…introduce me to him? I swear I’m not one of those dishonest guys.”

Once again, the young adult felt Hinata’s gaze on him. The short boy was having an internal dilemma. What if his decision ended up being unsafe for his friend? Definitely, the ginger truly cared about him.

“I don’t know if he’d like you coming at him directly because he is incredibly shy, but he’s going to be at my place tomorrow night with a few other guys. You wanna join us?”

Kuroo had never been so grateful to anyone in his entire life. If it hadn’t been perceived as weird, he would’ve hugged Hinata tight right now. Suddenly, he realised that he was finally going to meet the boy he had been staying up all night for and started to feel sick. What if he messed it all up? What if he didn’t like him? What if…

Hinata interrupted his negative thoughts. “If you have a gaming console, you should bring it with you to make a good impression him. My friend is obsessed with videogames. I’m just warning you: he may not look up from his game when you address him.”

Strangely, it made Kuroo feel a little bit better. Even if he hadn’t seen the boy’s eyes yet, he was sure that they would make him breathless and wordless. The taller teen quickly asked for the orange-haired boy’s phone number before thanking him and leaving. He had to see Bokuto and Oikawa to tell them the great news. After all, they had also been a big part of this curious meeting plan.

The blissful boy headed to his friend’s house and could barely stay still on his bus seat. He ran into Bokuto’s residence without even knocking on the door and heard a piercing scream. Out of breath, he looked up and saw Akaashi, bursting in laughter at a terrified Oikawa.

“Tetsu-chan! We were watching a horror movie and I thought you were a serial killer coming to kill us! I’m too young and pretty to die, man,” Oikawa declared light-heartedly while putting his hand behind his head. The three friends got up and greeted their taller companion.

Bokuto hugged his best friend and immediately discerned the odd look in his brown eyes. Pulling back, he grabbed his shoulder and asked: “Is everything doing okay, bro?”

Kuroo smirked and opened his arms. “Guess who’s seeing the mysterious boy tomorrow night?”

Oikawa screamed and tried to lift Kuroo up in his arms, in vain. Bokuto came to his rescue and the black-haired teenager ended up sitting on both of his friend’s arms with his hands on their shoulders, like a newly crowned king in a cheerful crowd. Akaashi was watching the scene from afar, but he was still visibly content.

“Tell me everything,” Oikawa declared in with an overly excited voice. The friends truly looked like a group of girls ready to tell each other the latest saucy gossips. The quartet plopped on the bed and sat cross-legged to all fit in the circle.

Kuroo happily started his story: “So, this ginger bartender named Hinata noticed that I wasn’t having a very good time at the club and started talking to me. I asked him if he knew Feline and he told me that he was his close friend! He then invited me to a little hangout session with some guys…including the boy I haven’t stopped talking about,” he added in a proud tone.

Bokuto cheered him by giving him a smack on the back.

“But…what’s his name?” Akaashi questioned, raising an eyebrow. He couldn’t believe that Kuroo had forgotten such an important aspect.

“Oh, no, I’m so fucking stupid! I forgot to ask Hinata!”

Oikawa proceeded to tell him that it was for the best, since he would seem like a total stranger to Feline, and not a stalker who already knew his name. Kuroo started to breath normally again. His friend always knew how to deal with stressful situations.

He wished he had Oikawa’s way of talking only for one night. Everyone, no matter the gender, always ended up giving in to skillful flirting. Even Iwaizumi, the most stubborn person he knew, was now in love with his friend…although he didn’t like to admit it.

The group put on a romantic comedy to put Kuroo in the mood, but the concerned hated these kinds of films, so he ended up falling asleep on Bokuto, who had been distractingly stroking his hair. The two friends were so close that Akaashi sometimes wondered if he had something to be jealous about. Of course, the boys’ relationship was so platonic that they didn’t even care about looking gay anymore.

The black-haired teen was woken up by his cell phone vibrating frantically in his pocket. He was still on Bokuto’s lap and it seemed like the other boys had also fallen asleep during the movie.

Kuroo stared at his phone and wiped his tired eyes.

_From: My savior (Hinata)_

_Oi, Kuroo! I sent you a picture of my house in case the address wasn’t clear enough!!! Be there at 8:00PM!!!_

Akaashi, who had awakened, peaked at the screen and laughed. Hinata sure was energetic. All those exclamation points were going to give him a headache.

“I’m going to make some eggs and toasts. Wake up Oikawa-san and Bokuto-san,” the youngest boy said in a weary voice.

That was easier said than done. In fact, Bokuto was such a heavy sleeper that, once, Kuroo had to drop cold water on his face for him to open his eyes. It was the same for Oikawa, except that the chances of being punched in the throat and screamed at were a lot higher.

Finally, after many attempts, the four friends were seated and devoured their breakfast. Bokuto was really lucky; although he couldn’t cook at all—he had once messed up his micro-waved popcorn—, his boyfriend was good at it. The conversations were rife and Oikawa started to run on about the idea of moving in together.

“Both Keiji-chan and Iwa-chan are going to be staying on their school campus soon…I don’t have enough money to pay my rents alone, so we should totally live together!” He cheerfully exclaimed. Akaashi gave him a weird look, wondering about how chaotic and untidy his three companions’ apartment would be.

They all nodded in agreement; living alone was a pain, particularly for broke college students. They would probably all sell their current lodgements to buy a bigger one. Kuroo was still living with his parents, although he stayed at either Bokuto or Oikawa’s houses most of the time. He was an only child and his parents were often on his back, pressuring him into doing things he didn’t want to. He had never been close to them because they never seemed to be willing to listen to what he was saying. They had never realised that he wasn’t their immature, troublesome child anymore.

Kuroo passed his hand through his spiky locks of hair and grinned. He looked at his phone and his smile suddenly washed off his face. They had slept way too much; it was already noon. “Guys, what should I wear? Should I bring drinks? Do you think I should be elegant or casual? God, help me.”

Bokuto sighed and distractingly hugged his friend. He assured him that everything was going to be fine and that it didn’t matter, but Oikawa didn’t seem to hold the same opinion.

“Tetsu-chan, I need to pass you some clothes immediately! This calls for drastic measures!”

“Oi, Oikawa, my fashion style isn’t _that_ bad. At least I don’t look gay as hell.” Kuroo retorted, irritated.

“But you _are_ gay as hell, Kuroo,” Bokuto mischievously replied.

The concerned grimaced and chuckled. “I’m going to take a shower. Oikawa, go pick me some clothes. From my closet, not yours, pretty please,” he added with an exasperated look.

While in the shower, Kuroo tried to calm himself. After all, he was good at making friends and lighting up the mood. People always told him that they enjoyed his cheerful and reassuring presence. The boy truly hoped that his mysterious dancer would like that, too; he was really worried about his reaction. Normally, Kuroo could read anyone’s expression with facility, but he hadn’t been able to read his completely.

He turned off the water and got out of the shower. He looked at himself in the mirror and tried to tame his messy hair a little, fruitlessly. It was as spiky as always, even when wet. Sometimes, he found himself wishing that his locks of hair were as feathery and flawless as Oikawa’s.

He was putting gel in his charcoal fringe when, without warning, the boy he had just thought about entered the bathroom, humming blissfully. “Tetsu-chan, I unearthed you some adorable clothes~”

“OIKAWA, I’M NAKED!”

“Pft, like I’ve never seen your dick before, you silly. Anyways, put this on.” He threw clothes at him and left the bathroom, still smiling widely as if nothing happened. Kuroo really couldn’t have any intimacy when he was with his best friends. He couldn’t even start to imagine how it would be like when they would move in together.

The boy looked down at the clothing Oikawa had launched on the bathroom floor. The shirt was burgundy and the small printed cats that adorned it made it seem less empty. It was ample and soft, but thick enough to keep him warm. To complete the outfit were Kuroo’s favorite pants: black ripped jeans that made him look more intimidating than he really was. Even though his fashion style wasn’t very colorful, he couldn’t say he was a punk. It just occurred that all the clothes he bought were dark and not very innovative.

Rapidly, he adjusted his earrings and piercings before spraying some perfume on himself. He kept that once for special occasions, since beauty products weren’t really his thing. When he left the bathroom, Bokuto’s nose twitched.

“It stinks like my old grandma in there. She’s dead,” he complained, smelling around.

Kuroo punched him in the stomach before sticking out his tongue. He knew that he was kidding, since he was the one who had bought him that cologne. “Do you think this is too casual?” He asked, strutting around and turning like he was a mannequin on _America’s Next Top Model_.

“Almost as hot as me,” Oikawa answered from the other room, giggling as he flicked his hair snobbishly.

“That’s not very hard to surpass,” his spiky-haired friend declared with a malicious smirk.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Winter had started early in Miyagi this year. Snow was already delicately falling from the hoary sky, icing everything in its path. Exhaling deeply as he watched white haze coming out of his mouth, Kuroo was standing in front of Hinata’s porch, suddenly unsure of himself. He felt the numbing feeling of the cold on his cheeks and enjoyed the comforting warmth of his knitted scarf. He hesitated before finally extending his hand to ring the bell. Immediately, he heard muffled noises and footsteps coming from inside the lodgement. The orange-haired teen quickly opened the door, hurrying the other boy to come in.

“I’ll introduce you to the others,” Hinata said with a wholehearted beam. “They’re all excited to meet you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I hope you like this so far! You will love Hinata and Kenma's friendship, ehe. xx


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo hangs out with Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukki, Yamaguchi and, finally, Kenma.

The room was small but cozy and there were undulating flames in the fireplace. The house felt welcoming, even though the whole place was quite untidy. Bag of chips, clothes and random notebooks were all over the floor, but Kuroo could easily understand; after all, he wasn’t very ordered himself. There were posters of famous volleyball players and a lot of team pictures framed on the walls. He could recognize a picture of Arisa Sato, his favorite Japanese libero. It seemed like Hinata really loved that sport. Coincidentally, Kuroo also used to play volleyball when he was in high school. He had even been the team captain before he changed school because of his dad’s demanding job.

Hinata poked the black-haired boy, a sign that he had to introduce himself. He lightly coughed to get everyone’s attention.

“Hi, um…I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. Glad to meet you all,” he charmingly articulated, trying to mimic Oikawa’s polite gestures.

“My name is Yamaguchi Tadashi and those grumpy guys right here are Tsukishima Kei and Kageyama Tobio,” a brown-haired teen with adorable freckles timidly said, pointing each of his friends as he spoke.

Kuroo looked at his ginger companion, nervous. Hinata immediately knew why he was acting strange and subtly gestured to a hidden place behind the couch. If you concentrated well enough, you could hear the fainted sounds of someone texting incredibly fast.

“Come out, Kenma, wherever you are…” Hinata light-heartedly mocked. Kuroo held out his breath, weirdly out of things to say.

Blonde locks and brown roots could be seen from behind the couch now. A short boy, about two inches taller than Hinata, came out of his hiding place without looking up from his phone. His face was unaffected and his lips stayed impassive. However, his eyebrows were slightly arched with concentration. He was wearing a loose white shirt with an unfamiliar logo and faded blue jeans. He seemed slow and detached, but his fingers moved so fast that Kuroo’s gaze couldn’t even follow. Finally, Kenma put his console on a counter and carefully approached the new guest.

“I’m Kozume Kenma, nice to…Wait, have we seen each other before?” He asked in a monotone voice, his voice lacking expression. It weirdly sent chills down Kuroo’s spine. He was intrigued by the fact that he couldn’t read what the other was thinking.

“I’ve been at some of your…performances,” he hesitantly answered, triturating his black piercing once again. Kenma’s cat-like eyes, which had been pointed straight at Kuroo, fluttered. A light flush embellished his cheeks as he muttered a simple and quiet ‘oh’.

Kuroo couldn’t stop gazing at the boy. His golden eyes, surmounted by long and transparent eyelashes, were like a sea of pure honey. The only thing he wished was for them to look at him again and again until he drowned in their wonderful gold shade. He stared at Kenma’s silky-smooth cheeks, at his flawless pale hair and at his perfectly curved body. The small pout of his lips attracted Kuroo like a magnet. He wanted to caress them, to feel how delicate they were.

Yamaguchi, who had witnessed the whole thing, brusquely coughed into his hand, getting everyone’s attention. “I brought sour gummy bears…anyone wants to watch a movie?” Excited, Hinata immediately jumped on the occasion; he had just procured himself Big Hero 6, his new favorite film. At the name of the movie, Kenma lifted his head and nodded in agreement.

The small group put all the pillows and wool blankets on the floor, creating a sort of fortress of coziness and warmth. Kageyama, who was comfortably seated against the couch, suddenly groaned at Hinata, who had just laced his small arms around his shoulders. The ginger boy ignored the other’s complaint and snuggled himself on his neck, teasingly tickling Kageyama with the tip of his nose. Finally, the grumpier boy gave in and placed his chin on the top of his friend’s—or was it boyfriend?— fluffy head. As Kuroo was wondering about the nature of their relationship, Hinata twisted his neck so he could quickly brush Kageyama’s lips against his. There, he had his answer.

There was a quiet whine coming from farther away. “Are we going to start this damned movie or are you two going to do lovey-dovey shit for the rest of the night?”

“Tsukki, don’t be mean,” Yamaguchi replied, his shoulders quivering as he was trying to hold in a chuckle. Tsukishima angrily shoved a gummy bear up his mouth.

As Kuroo eyed the scene with a crooked smile, he noticed that Hinata had purposely left him and Kenma in the middle of their overabundance of pillows and blankets. The other boys were all nuzzling and cuddling one another, while the two in the center were installed at least thirty centimeters apart. The taller boy subtly tried to progressively move towards the blonde, who was still playing a game on his console.

“So…Kenma.” That name sounded so beautiful, so _right_ on Kuroo’s tongue that he wanted to repeat it again and again. “What game are you playing?”

Behind the quiet teen, Hinata lifted his thumb in an encouraging manner and smirked. Kenma looked up at his interlocutor, a sparkle in his normally detached pupils. “The Legend of Zelda.”

Kuroo beamed and replied, awkwardly poking the boy: “I _love_ that game! Wait, is that Twilight Princess? It’s my fourth favorite.”

“It’s actually my third favorite. The best is absolutely A Link to the Past,” Kenma declared with a solemn tone and a light grin that made Kuroo’s heart burn. So, he wasn’t the only one to keep an invisible list of his favorites.

“Going for the classics, uh? I think that the best is Ocarina of Time.”

“That’s outrageous.”

Suddenly, Tsukishima interrupted them with a loud moan. “If you nerds don’t want to watch this movie, get out, because Yamaguchi wants to and he’s too nice to say that he can’t hear a thing.”

Suddenly painfully aware of the golden eyes fixed on his face, Kuroo became red. Kenma glared at him with a look that said that they weren’t done with this conversation and started to simply watch the movie. He seemed so concentrated all of a sudden, his face back into its natural blank expression and his blonde locks messily falling over his eyes. He kept bobbing his head, trying to ignore the hair blocking his view. Overrun by an irresistible desire, Kuroo proceeded to delicately brush and tuck Kenma’s fringe behind his ear. The contact was so tender that it made the younger boy shiver from head to toe. It was strange for Kenma not to shirk someone’s touch. He had been so used to people brutalising him that anyone who tried to come closer always ended up being automatically pushed away.

There was a brief moment of confusion between the two. Out of surprise, Kenma had turned his head to face a flustered Kuroo. Who was this guy whose touch was so soft and securing he didn’t want to shun it? Trying to suppress this this awkward feeling, the boys simply went back to watching the film, although they didn’t really understand a word that came out of the characters’ mouths.

The movie finally ended and everyone was feeling kind of weary, so Hinata took it on himself to make everyone feel at ease. He got up made sure that his guests were all installed comfortably. When he stumbled across Kuroo, he stopped and glanced at Kenma, making sure that he wasn’t listening.

“You know, Kenma hates when people touch him. Even I can’t put my arms around his shoulders most of the time,” the ginger whispered in his ear. “You’re lucky.”

Soon after this, everyone fell asleep, pampered by the comforting sounds of a sizzling fire. They were all close to their neighbor and it reminded them all of the time when they were young, careless kids. Kuroo wished that he could do this more often. He did have sleepovers almost every day with Oikawa and Bokuto, but hanging out like this with a bunch of new people really made him feel like he was a joyful child again. He missed that innocence, those simple moments in life when you feel at peace and the familiar sounds of your friends’ relaxed exhales.

The next day, Tsukishima was the first to wake up. Of course, he didn’t hesitate to scream in Hinata and Kageyama’s ears to scare the shit out of them. It was a rough way to come back from sleep, but it made everyone laugh first thing in the morning. Kenma definitely wasn’t in a happy mood when he woke up. His normally straight hair was dishevelled and he was pouting even more than usual. He answered questions with monosyllables and almost fell asleep again before Hinata declared that there were waffles in the fridge.

The rest of the morning passed incredibly fast and Kuroo was glad that he got to meet all of those wonderful people. They were all different and matchless, but they somehow were connected. They were the opposite of Bokuto and him, who were often qualified as ‘the same soul in different bodies’.

Before going back to his house, Kuroo saluted everyone and even earned an enthusiastic clinch from Hinata. He had wanted to talk to Kenma more during the time he had had, but they were always interrupted by someone or something else. He wanted to see his smile again, and the sprinkle in his eyes when he had talked about his favorite game. He also wanted to touch his hair once more and try to get closer to see if the fact that he hadn’t dodged his touch had been more than a coincidence. The door was almost closed, but Kuroo decided that he had to stop hesitating.

“Kenma, do you want to come to my house some day? I, uh…have all the Zelda games,” he awkwardly added, trying to find a good enough reason for his sudden interest. Kenma appeared in the door frame; he had seemingly been pushed in by Hinata.

“Sure,” he muttered before writing down his number and continuing with a sideway smile. “After all, I have to convince you that _my_ favorite is the best of all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like my characterisation! Please tell me what you think :)


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about Kenma's life and Kuroo goes back to the bar to see him.

It had been two weeks since Kuroo had slept at Hinata’s house. Christmas was getting closer and he couldn’t stop thinking about Kenma and how weird it was for him to have a crush on someone he barely knew. He had wanted to get in touch with him at least a thousand times, but there was always something that held him back.

“Kuroo, you’re fucking annoying. Stop moping and _call him_ , damn it,” Bokuto told him while they were snuggled onto the couch. Their legs were intertwined and the grey-haired boy’s had his head on his friend’s chest. Akaashi could’ve almost been jealous if he didn’t know that these two were the most platonic thing on Earth.

“Dude, you don’t get it! Kenma is…hard to get. I don’t know if he even thinks of me anymore. Probably not,” Kuroo whined, trying to arrange his messy bed head.

That complaint earned him a rough poke in the ribs from Bokuto. “We’re going to the club where he works. Tonight,” he added.

Kuroo sighed, but finally nodded. “I’ll need Oikawa, though. Maybe I can buy a gadget so he can whisper things into my ear when I don’t know what to say anymore.” Bokuto laughed, visibly not so sure about their friend’s flirting skills. They did work with girls and Iwaizumi, sometimes.

That is how the trio ended up going to a male strip club...again.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

Kenma had never liked his job. He hated the perverted look on older men’s face when they looked at him dancing, and how he had to show intimate parts of himself to complete strangers. His colleagues all loved their dancing livelihood, but, of course, that’s because they had chosen it out of will and with consideration. Kenma had done it solely for money, and he bitterly regretted that decision. Being a pole dancer was very well-paid job, and it did include a lot of advantages.

However, the blonde had never been a confident person. The fact that his body was frail and beautiful was the only thing that allowed him to keep being a dancer. In fact, Kenma was extremely shy and introverted, which obviously meant that he hated people staring at him and trying to approach him like all of the customers did. Horrible flashbacks of men forcibly attempting to caress him came back to his mind and he winced, remembering the petrifying sensation of being controlled against his will. Since they were in public, Kenma had always been able to dodge the guys’ touch, but he didn’t want to think about what could’ve happened if they had been alone in a dark alley.

Silently walking towards his work place, his cold hands stuffed in his jeans’ pockets, the young boy thought about the reason of his suffering. As a child, he had never had a lot of money. His father had left his family all alone when he was only nine. Since then, Kenma’s mother had fallen into alcohol and drugs and no one, not even her own children, could help her out of her misery. Founds slowly started to stop coming and the Kozume family was soon forced to leave the house they were living in. Kenma and his two younger sisters’ life then became a living hell. Their mother refused to move or work and the only money they had came from their nowhere-to-be-seen father. They used to pay rents and bills.

This awful train of life continued until the eldest turned fourteen. He found a job at a local store and used all of the cash to buy his younger siblings’ proper food and clothes. Their mom was still in a vegetative state. She only got out of bed to buy herself more narcotics. The children managed to go to school and act like ordinary kids, since they didn’t want to be separated from each other. They were the only thing they had left. When a teacher noticed their stained clothes, they just pretended that they hadn’t seen it due to their tired eyes.

When he turned sixteen, Kenma noticed that his job at minimum wage wasn’t going to be enough to support his family. His sisters were now twelve and they needed money to go out with friends, buy school supplies and simply live a normal life. The blonde knew that he had to do something more…even if it meant breaking laws.

He did some research with the school computers and found it how well-paid strippers and exotic dancers were. The funds didn’t even come _close_ to what he made with his current job. He decided to falsify his papers and headed to a strip club he always passed by when he headed to school. It took a lot of arguing and negotiating with his employer, but he finally succeeded. His only condition was that he had to wear a mask so that no one could recognize him at first sight. Everyone had noticed how small and pretty Kenma looked; he would make a great dancer and this work would make him gain a lot of money. He could surely be a great new face for the place.

Kenma arrived to his location and walked inside to go prepare himself. He smiled shyly at his coworkers and pretended to be glad to be there with them, when in fact the only thing he wanted was to get out of this damned place and never look back.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

Arm in arm with Oikawa and Bokuto, Kuroo felt nervousness crawl down his skin. He had never enjoyed going to strip clubs, but he was only doing it to see Kenma again. He tried to ignore the men dancing and grinding all around him, focusing on finding a small, blonde individual. Instead, he spotted Hinata’s orange curls among the bartenders. He was cheerfully chatting with a visibly drunk guy.

“Oi, Kuroo! I didn’t think you’d come back here,” the redhead said, grasping the opportunity to stop the weird conversation he was having. “I thought Kenma had given you his number…”

“This idiot is too much of a sissy to call him,” Bokuto answered at his place.

“Well, he stops working soon, I think. You should go see if he’s backstage,” Hinata suggested. “You guys can stay here, Kenma doesn’t really like it when there are a lot of people,” he continued, looking at Oikawa and Bokuto.

Kuroo’s heart was beating like crazy when he knocked on the lodge’s door. He was surprised when he saw Tsukishima, the blonde guy with glasses that had been at Hinata’s house the other day. Maybe he also was a stripper, but no one had mentioned it. After all, it wasn’t really something that you bragged about to your new acquaintances.

The tall boy glared at him. “Do you want to see Kenma?” Kuroo blushed and nodded, unsure of what his ginger friend had told all of the other guys about his odd infatuation towards the pole dancer.

A few moments later, blonde locks and dark roots could be distinguished behind Tsukishima. The black-haired teen suddenly felt all of his blood drain from his body and come up to his face. He hadn’t thought about what he was going to say to Kenma. It definitely seemed creepy for him to come see him for no reason at his workplace.

“Kuro.” The melodic sound reverberated in the room and filled the boy’s heart with warmth. Kenma’s monotone voice and detached look would never cease to make him uneasy…in a good way. He had also called him by his nickname.

“Kenma! I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you, I was just passing by and thought I could, uh, come say hi…”

Tsukishima skeptically rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving the two of them standing on the doorstep, awkwardly staring at each other. Miraculously, the younger boy wasn’t wearing his corset anymore, or else Kuroo would definitely be dead on the floor.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I was going to go home, anyways,” Kenma muttered, looking at his shoes.

“I guess you’re stuck with me now, eh?”

The two boys walked in silence towards where Hinata, Oikawa and Bokuto where sitting. The short boy had finished his work shift and he was babbling about that time when Kageyama and he had almost set a building on fire three years ago when the sight of Kenma made him close his mouth. He tried to hug his friend, but the other skillfully escaped his embrace. However, he finally gave in to Hinata’s touch, flushed and visibly not used to public displays of affection.

“Pft, lovebirds,” Oikawa laughed.

“I have a boyfriend, you know!” Hinata dramatically gasped, gently pushing his friend away. “I wouldn’t dare touch little, innocent Kozume Kenma!”

“I’m taller and older than you, Shouyou,” the targeted retorted, trying to add some emotion in his voice.

Probably for the first time in his life, Kuroo stayed silent. Bokuto gave him weird glances, wondering why his best friend wasn’t shouting strange remarks every two sentences. He was just listening to the conversation, gazing at Kenma’s face from time to time. He still couldn’t get over the fact that such a beautiful human being could have appeared in his life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN GUYS! Do you think the plot is too rushed? Comments and kudos are very appreciated!


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma is nowhere to be seen and Kuroo beats up some guy. Warnings: attempted sexual assault, description of violence.

The club’s atmosphere progressively started to change. As the customers drank started to gulp down alcohol, they became unpredictable. They screamed obscene comments at the dancers, who pretended not to hear. The mood was more sensual and intimate now, as the younger guests left the building.

The five boys had continued to chat about nothing and everything for longer than they thought. Clients were slowly starting to empty the place and the only men that stayed were either really drunk or way too absorbed by the view of young people dancing. After a few drinks, Kenma declared that he had to go to the bathroom. Time passed and the group became worried; the blonde was shining by his absence.

“Don’t you think it’s been a little too long since Kenma has been in there?” Kuroo noticed almost ten minutes after the dancer had left.

Hinata nodded, a worried look planted in his childish hazel eyes. He definitely had some awful memories about Kenma being out of view for a little longer than expected.

“I’m going to look for him,” Kuroo declared, suddenly feeling very anxious. He knew that it was dangerous to be small and fragile in this fucked up environment. Although he was quite awkward and peaceful, the boy was still more than six feet tall and his body was toned. He sure looked intimidating when you didn’t know how much of a dork he truly was. In addition, he had never been really good at handling his anger. Whenever he felt like exploding, he just hid in his closet until the bad mood ceased. He screamed in his pillows and hoped that his parents wouldn’t hear, or else his father would tell him how much of a disappointment he was. That was the only thing his parents addressed their son for.

Playing nervously with his messy hair, the teen started to run towards the restrooms. He barked through the door and, of course, didn’t find Kenma anywhere. His heart started to pound like crazy; if something had happened to him, he would lose his mind. He stopped at the nearest door and rushed outside, blinking rapidly to accommodate to the sudden darkness. Few lights were still illuminating the sinister street and the complete silence of the scenery contrasted heavily with the wild ambiance inside. It was a cold December night, but Kuroo didn’t take notice of the cold: his blood was boiling.

The boy looked around erratically. How could he have been so unaware of the situation? Of course people were going to take advantage of Kenma; he was the most appreciated dancer of the whole place. He was small, defenceless and easy to manipulate…Kuroo shuddered. He couldn’t endure this horrible apprehension.

Suddenly, he heard a muffled moan coming from one of the seemingly empty cars. It wasn’t a sound of pleasure, but of pure distress. The vehicle’s windows were tinted, so it was impossible to ensure that there were someone inside, but Kuroo didn’t take the chance. He furiously banged on the glass, waiting for another noise to come out. He heard it again; a chocked, desperate cry for help.

With his bare fist, the black-haired boy broke down the window and forcibly opened the door. What he saw inside made him want to vomit and kill someone at the same time. A large man was on top of Kenma, who was unable to talk due to a piece of cloth stuffed in his mouth. His shirt had been ripped off and his jeans were unzipped; he was completely exposed and helpless. His wrists were bleeding, visibly because he had struggled and failed to escape the man’s grip. His terrified golden eyes were laid on Kuroo’s with heartbreaking despair and pain.

At that moment, Kuroo had never felt more furious. With all the force he had, he gripped the man from behind and pushed him on the street’s ground. He hit his head and stomach with his feet before clenching his fist around the other’s collar to bring him closer to his face, which was distorted with rage.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing…disgusting pig!” He roared before punching his nose with dangerous power. The typical sound of bones breaking could be heard, but Kuroo didn’t even flinch. He continued to swing his contracted fist at the man’s abdomen unrestrainedly, causing him to spit blood of the ground.

“Let me go! You’re fucking crazy!”

From where Kenma was standing, the scene seemed surreal. Kuroo looked so threatening and physically powerful that he almost would’ve been scared if he also didn’t want the nasty man dead. Dark blood was flowing from the individual’s broken nose and split lower lip. His friend kept striking him until he was hunched on the asphalt, begging for him to cease. The rage that shone out of Kuroo’s gold eyes was truly startling. His hand was full of red body fluid, but he didn’t seem to be bothered at all. He wanted to make this man suffer; he wanted him to _wish_ he was dead…nothing else mattered. No one could hurt Kenma like this and get away with it.

As he swung his foot at the person’s face, Kuroo wondered where all of this terrible rage came from. He was known to be peaceful and non-violent, however here he was, beating the shit out of this stranger. Kenma’s desperate eyes came back to his mind, and he felt no remorse seeing this man on the ground, wounded and bewildered. Finally, the victim groaned loudly and lost consciousness, blood surrounding his figure.

Terribly worried and a shaken by his own sudden violence, Kuroo gazing at Kenma and took him in his arms, quickly removing his shirt to put it around the small boy’s trembling body. The blonde was shaking uncontrollably, bitter tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn’t push away the taller teen when he brought him into a tight embrace, positioning his large hands behind his head to bring it closer to his chest. They stayed like this for a while, completely silent. Kenma was still sobbing and quivering, his tears wetting Kuroo’s now bare upper body. Delicately stroking his friend’s blonde locks, Kuroo’s chin was resting on the other’s head. Both of their eyes were closed, and their natural warmth protected them from the freezing cold.

Kenma couldn’t stop himself from crying. He was tired of being weak and fragile, he was tired of this damned job, he was tired of having to struggle everyday just to keep himself alive. He wanted to leave everything just to remove this terribly heavy weight on his shoulders. He didn’t care about his stupid mom anymore, and maybe his sisters would be better off in a foster family. The only thing that stopped him from running right in front of a car right now was Kuroo, who was holding him tight and close to his warm body. The boy’s strong arms sure were good for fighting, but they were also perfectly fit to hug Kenma.

“What the fuck is this? Is he…dead?” Hinata had suddenly come out of the door behind them, the others following him up close. He abruptly stopped talking when he perceived Kuroo and Kenma clinging to each other. The smaller boy’s shoulder were shaking, a sign that he was unquestionably crying.

“I’m going to call the police and wait here until they take this man in,” Oikawa declared to everyone’s surprise. “You guys go, Kuroo will get in trouble if they find out he is the one who did that to him.”

Once again, this was a proof of Oikawa’s generosity. People thought he was only a pompous and flirty guy with a high self-esteem, but he was way more than that. He always kept his calm in stressful situations and everyone could count on him to make things okay.  Even if he acted immature and had snobbish manners, his composure had saved him many times.

Kuroo’s whole body was sore and strained, but he still insisted on carrying Kenma bridal style. There was no way the younger boy was going to walk and pretend he was doing fine, because he definitely was not. Everyone was surprised at how docile Kenma was when it came to physical contact with their friend, but they didn’t say anything. After all, maybe you need someone to comfort you after a horrible incident like this.

According to Hinata, it wasn’t the first time that the dancer had almost been raped. Every time it had happened, Kenma always recoiled and refused to talk to anyone for at least three days. He felt horrible, he hated himself and his pitiful life, but it progressively passed. However, this one was different from the others. No one was around to see or hear, and if it hadn’t been for Kuroo, who knows what would’ve happened to the boy? The ginger knew how sensible his friend was and how terrible his existence had been since his dad had left his family. Being sexually harassed and touched brought back some terrorizing memories he had tried to hide and lock far away in his brain.

Kuroo stared down at Kenma. He glanced at his golden eyes, open wild with shock, and stopped to look at his shivering lips. Then again, he wondered how such a wonderful being could have ended up in such a terrible situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, was this angsty enough? Anyways, I hated writing this scene, because Kenma is a pure cinnamon roll. Kuroo is literally me if someone hurts my friends (except I am a small 5" girl).


	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is a nerd and Kenma loves kittens. Kuroo is a secretive boy. They learn more about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE ALL THE CHAPTERS A WHILE AGO AND I DIDN'T RE-READ THEM SO PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU SEE HORRIBLE MISTAKES

Kenma wanted to wash his whole body until he couldn’t feel his skin anymore. He felt so dirty, he couldn’t stop trembling in Kuroo’s arms. He was ashamed of his own weakness, of his entire powerless being. He was going to rub his neck, stomach and thighs with soap until they go numb. Right now, the world seemed distant and he could vaguely hear Hinata questioning Kuroo about what had happened. Everything was nebulous and he couldn’t remember how long he had been hunched on the black-haired boy’s chest. He could faintly hear buzzing sounds, the filthy words of his aggressor still resonating inside his head.

Suddenly, there was a soft whisper in his ear. “Kenma, we’re home. I’m going to put you on the couch now, alright?”

It was Kuroo; they had arrived at an unknown place, probably his house or one of his friend’s, and Kenma couldn’t care less. He just nodded and placed his weary head on the pillow underneath him. Feathery blankets were put on top of his quivering body. The last thing he noticed before falling asleep is that he could still feel warm and muscular enfolding his chest. He had already started dreaming when his savior planted a cautious yet tender kiss on the back of his head.

The next day, Kuroo woke up to an empty but still warm print next to his side. He immediately started to dramatize, hypothesising that Kenma had run off during the night. However, he was comforted by the sound of Akaashi’s clear-cut voice. He was discussing with someone else, their voice just as controlled as the other boy’s.

“Really, it’s no problem to have you stay here, Kenma. We all know Kuroo cares a lot about you…” If only Akaashi knew that he was right there, listening to the conversation, maybe he wouldn’t have dared to say this.

There was an embarrassing silence between the two, but the blonde silently muttered: “Really? I thought he had just forgotten my existence.”

“Trust me, he hadn’t. Bokuto-san and Oikawa-san were so tired of his uncertainty…I think he hesitated to call you almost five times a d…oh, good morning Kuroo-san!”

The bleached teen brusquely turned around to confirm that he was really there and turned crimson red. They had been caught talking about him, but it wasn’t a bad thing, since Kenma was so flustered about it.

“Akaashi, stop making me appear like the shy type and take a good look into the mirror. Believe it or not, it took three years for Bokuto and him to finally admit that they were in love with each other. _Three years,_ man.”

“Kuroo, stop talking shit about me, you punk.”

Suddenly, everyone was awake and standing in the kitchen. Even Oikawa, also known as the sleeping beauty, stood next to Bokuto, his hair and face as flawless as ever.

“Well, this is awkward. I’m going to go cook breakfast,” the beautiful brown-haired boy declared, leaving the room. “Iwa-chan taught me how to make pancakes!” He added a little bit too enthusiastically.

“Brace yourself,” Kuroo whispered in Kenma’s ear.

“I heard you, Tetsu-chan!”

Kenma kept hearing unknown names and was very confused by the amount of brotherly love he felt in this room. He wasn’t even sure who was dating whom anymore. He didn’t feel at ease in this house full of friendship and amusement. The dancer had never had many friends he could joke and laugh with. He didn’t think he’d ever been at a sleepover, except with Hinata. Akaashi seemed to sense the boy’s uneasiness, because he carefully put his hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry; they’re usually way worse than this. Kuroo-san’s bed head is normally messier, too,” he added teasingly.

“You love my chaotic hair, Akaashi! I’m sure Kenma likes it too.”

The blonde’s cheeks flushed and he looked away, avoiding curious glances from Kuroo, who was getting suspicious after all the comments Akaashi was making. He wanted to hide behind his dyed hair and melt into the chair, disappearing. He didn’t answer and the source of his torments stopped talking.

A few minutes later, an overjoyed Oikawa popped out of behind the wall, beaming. “The first pancake’s ready. Although I could call them crêpes, they’re thin and truly look delicious! Who wants to have it?”

Everyone kept silent and the cook’s smile slowly faded, making Kenma feel a little guilty. He seemed so confident, after all. “I’ll have it, Oikawa,” he mumbled reluctantly.

The grin that brightened the other’s face could’ve made anyone melt. The young man walked jumpily towards Kenma, gliding the plate and the pancake in front of him as he waited for him to take a bite. The boy felt his face redden again; everyone was staring at him with a mix of apprehension and pride.

He put a big piece of the breakfast in his mouth and chewed, trying to decide if the taste was good or bad. Surprisingly, they were delicious. He looked at Oikawa and lifted his thumbs up in a sign of success. The brown-haired man almost hugged him.

“See? I know you don’t trust me, but at least trust Iwa-chan’s recipes!”

“So _that’s_ why you haven’t starved to death, Oikawa,” Kuroo mocked. He had just gripped the fork out of Kenma’s hand and taken a mouthful of the crêpe, not ignoring the fact that this was an indirect kiss. He had to admit, he was proud of his friend. The last time he had tried to cook, Bokuto almost threw up in his plate.

Talking of the wolf, the owl-loving boy had just started to come to his senses. “Bro, is that an alien-shaped pancake? I can’t believe you.” Oikawa just giggled shyly and pretended that it had been an accident. Of course, everyone knew how much of a nerd their seemingly pompous companion was.

After a short and carefree moment of joy, Kenma remembered why he was there. His body shook with fear when he rememorized the haunting form of a shady man putting his hand on his mouth when he got out of the bathroom stall. He visualized his aggressor taking off his belt and touching his stomach, his dark eyes shining with obscene lust. When his own pants were being lowered, Kenma had already given up. He thought that this was the consequence of being such a hopeless individual.

He was awakened from his gloomy thoughts by a warm palm being slid on his own, which was cold and quivering. The other’s fingers were big and comforting, contrasting with Kenma’s frail ones. Normally, the younger man would’ve dodged this affectionate touch, but he felt a fluttering in his chest that hindered him from escaping. Instead, he lifted his gaze and met Kuroo’s eyes. The same eyes that he saw when he had chosen to die, last night, and the same eyes that looked at him with tenderness he didn’t deserve. Maybe Kenma should’ve perished, yesterday. He should’ve just stopped breathing right there, in horribly filthy way, because that is how he had chosen to live. Kuroo seemed to read his mind because he tightened his hold and, for a moment, the blonde forgot that they weren’t alone in this room.

“Stop torturing yourself; it’s not your fault. You didn’t deserve any of that,” the charcoal-haired boy whispered in the other’s ear so that no one could discern the words. It was as if he knew exactly what was going on inside his fucked-up head.

Kenma nodded and let go of his friend’s hand. However, Kuroo could distinguish the sinister shine in his golden irises. He wondered why he was so infatuated of such a complicated and unreadable boy. Then again, a single glimpse at the teen’s face and all his questions evaporated.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

Two weeks after, only four days before Christmas, Kuroo was more than tired of Bokuto's extreme mood swings. Akaashi was gone to Tokyo to visit his family for the holidays, and his boyfriend realised that he truly couldn't function without the brown-haired boy by his side. Because of this fact, he was ranting to his exasperated best bro. After thirty minutes of silently listening to his whining, Kuroo decided that he had had enough. He needed to escape this melancholic atmosphere.

He absentmindedly scrolled through his contacts, attempting to remember why half of them were even in his phone. The eighteen years old had a lot of random acquaintances, but only a few real friends. Thereby, all of them were busy today. His amber eyes stopped on Kenma's contact name and glared at it for a while. He hesitated for a second, but decided that he at least had to try. After all, he didn't want to go Christmas shopping alone. He clicked on the name, suddenly very nervous. He hated talking on the phone; he needed to show expression with his body and face.

"Hello? Is this Kuroo?" a fatigued voice buzzed.

"Uh… hi. Yes, it's me," he stuttered, trying to sound relaxed. There was an awkward silence at the other end of the line. The spiky-haired man coughed.

"I was wondering...are you doing anything today? I was going Christmas shopping and everyone else is busy." Kuroo realised what that insinuated and started panicking. "Wait, no! Not that you're my second choice, or something! I just wanted to see you." Oh god, he, beyond doubt, was stupid. He didn't even know how he got that ‘flirty guy’ label. He had no idea how to talk to boys...or anyone else, for that matter.

"Okay," he heard a soft voice answer. His heart launched. "When do you want me to come?"

"Uh, is right now okay with you? Please save me from Bokuto, he has been horrible since Akaashi has left to visit his relatives." Kenma hummed affirmatively.

"Shut up bro, I can hear you trash talking me!”

 A muffled chuckled could be distinguished from the other end of the line.

"Alright, then, I'll be waiting for you. Please come fas--" He was interrupted by Bokuto jumping on him and clung to him like a leech in need of friendliness. He hugged his best friend and rested his cheek on the other’s face. How could Akaashi live with this weird guy's constant overwhelming affection?

They stayed like this for a while, snuggling on the couch. It scared Kuroo how nonsexual they had become. He loved his friend so much; it was strange to think of having such a strong friendship with a person and not feeling any romantic attraction. Finally, someone knocked on the door. They both got up instantly, running to open it. At last, Kuroo tripped Bokuto and got to it first.

"Hey, there!"

"Kuro," Kenma nodded. "Bokuto-san...what are you doing on the floor?"

The golden-eyed boy lazily pointed his finger in the direction of Kuroo, stroking his aching knee. His best almost felt sorry for him, but he knew it was all an act. He put on a warm coat and his favorite knitted scarf.

“We shall be going, then,” he declared, hugging Bokuto tight.

The door closed and, next thing Kuroo knew, he was walking around town with Kenma under the snow, weirdly feeling like time had stopped. Pretending to be a dragon, he kept exhaling foggy air, much to Kenma’s amusement. The blonde was utterly adorable with his plum beanie and his seemingly oversized brown coat. They kept wandering down the streets in a comfortable silence, appreciating the other’s warm presence. It was extremely different from his outings with his close friends, but in a good way. It was more soothing, more intimate.

They occasionally stopped and entered a few shops. After all, Kuroo had to buy presents for his friends. They all insisted not to give gifts this year since they were all broke, but the black-haired boy really wanted to offer something to his best friend. Bokuto and he were like brothers from different mothers.

His choice finally stopped on leathery friendship bracelets decorated with owls and cats. It was horribly cheesy, but Bokuto loved cheap but meaningful things. Kuroo took one for him and one for his friend. It didn’t cost much but it made him smile.

“Aren’t you going to buy anything?” He asked his Kenma.

The boy shook his head from left to right, a sign of negation. They left the store and continued to ambulate through the hoary streets in a comfortable silence.

Suddenly, Kenma’s irises shone with delight as he pointed his finger at a store. It was a pet shop in which Bokuto often forced his friends to go. He loved to observe and play with the colorful birds, and, a few times, he had been kicked out of the store because he had tried to ‘free those poor volatiles’.

The duo entered the shop, Kenma almost dragging his companion behind him. He immediately found the place where the cats were being kept and walked towards the location. Kuroo just stared at him, tenderize by the look of pure happiness in the other’s gold eyes. He made a note to himself to ask his friend about his passions and his plans for the future. He seemingly loved animals, by the way his whole traits softened when he looked at them. There was also a bit of sadness in his gaze, probably because the creatures were trapped between bars.

He stooped next to a cage and beckoned Kuroo to join him. Five kittens were sound asleep, all snuggled close to each other, seeking warmth. They were all orange and black tortoiseshells, except for one, whose fur was entirely as dark as charcoal. They seemed so peaceful and their feathery fluff looked so soft than Kuroo and Kenma reached to the cage at the same time, trying to slide their fingers through the small openings to reach the cats. The small animals were at least a month old, since their mother didn’t have to be permanently by their side. Their fuzz was already quite grown out and their eyes were starting to change from blue to their actual colour.

“The eyes of this one are beginning to turn yellow,” Kenma noticed, slightly touching the black kitten’s fur. He had opened his tired eyes, bothered by the unknown sounds coming from near him. He meowed evenly and the young adult almost had to cling to his friend to repress his shriek of excitement. Realising their sudden closeness, Kuroo went back to his original position and just focused on the adorable kittens. However, he couldn’t stop himself from observing Kenma’s expression change from utter glee to worry.

He looked around. “Where is their mother? The wean of cats is only completed after the kittens reach eight weeks,” he said, more to himself than to anyone in particular.”

“Oh, don’t worry, kid. Their mother is right here,” a voice declared from behind the two boys. They quickly turned, surprised by the sudden presence of someone else. An elderly grey-haired man was holding a huge tortoiseshell cat, probably the mother in question. As they noticed the vicious look in her eyes, Kenma and Kuroo immediately stopped petting the kitties and removed their hands from the cage as if nothing happened. The elder eyed them amiably, while posing the cat in between her cubs.

Kenma often focused on the entirely black cat, stroking him with delicacy and tenderness as he purred eagerly. When asked if he liked the kitten, the blonde acquiesced enthusiastically, gently scratching the neck the dark animal was presenting him.

The duo continued to observe wholeheartedly, still repressing their high-pitched squeaks, as the mother fed her babies. Since the owner had left, not a word had been pronounced between the two.

“What do you want to do in the future, Kenma? I don’t even known in what level of education you are,” Kuroo admitted, a bit shameful. The idea of knowing more about the blonde boy made his heartbeat speed up.

The other was still gazing at the kittens, a regretful look on his face. It quickly disappeared, turning back into his usual unreadable expression. “I’ve always wanted to own an animal shelter and work as a pet groomer,” he declared, still looking away melancholically. “I used to watch a series with my dad about a girl who rescued mistreated animals and turned them back into the healthy and adorable creatures they used to be. It really got to me. I’m starting college next year.”

Kuroo had no idea why Kenma was talking about such a joyful memory with regret and pain in his voice, but he didn’t ask questions. After all, who was he to question his past?

“I think that is an amazing dream. I’m sure it’ll come true one day,” the black-haired man cheered. He finally made eye-contact with Kenma, who timidly smiled and nodded.

“What about you?” He asked, nervously ruffling his own dyed hair.

His companion was also somewhat reflective when it came to talking about his career choice. “I don’t really know if it has a specific name, but I really want to teach mentally disabled kids; the ones that can’t fit in the usual classroom. Children with crippling anxiety, with autism, and behavioural problems...” Kuroo stared at Kenma for a moment. He knew that he was waiting for a reason, a motive for why he had chosen this path. To be truly honest, he didn’t really know himself. Kuroo just enjoyed being around children and helping them. A lot of people had told him that he was a good and patient teacher, so he thought he might as well mix his two passions together.

“I’ve been studying child psychology in college. However, my parents never liked nor encouraged my interests. For them, I had to study medicine, like my father and his father before him. They say it’s stupid to want to be surrounded by ‘retarded’ kids. They say I’m not going end up mentally drained and I won’t be making enough money,” Kuroo spat with visible anger. He was very protective of disabled children, having been known as the troublemaker kid with ADHD back in elementary school, which wasn’t even true.

“I think it is a noble cause to defend, Kuro. Don’t let them get to you,” Kenma quietly but sincerely declared.

After this conversation, the two boys felt like they knew more about the other. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to feel like they had stepped past a certain line. When they parted ways, Kenma didn’t notice Kuroo walking back into the pet shop, a mischievous expression painted all over his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy! I'm so happy, I didn't think I would get so many hits and kudos in only one day! :D I forgot to mention it, but my tumblr is juuzousmom, if you want to follow me/talk to me/just suffer with me. By the way, my OTP is Bokuro, so sorry for my not so subtle hints, lmao. I love you all!!!  
> Please tell me how you like this so far in the comments, it will give me strenght to write the 12th and 13th chapters, eh.


	7. Chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi visits his family and...shit happens. Bokuto and Kuroo are the best friends ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooo this chapter is short and a bit angsty, sorry for this Valentine's Day sadness. It's a Bokuaka chapter, but don't worry, KUROKEN IS COMING BACK STRONG SOON

Akaashi absolutely despised to visit his family, and for more than one reason. Firstly, they always reprimanded him on his college choice and tried to manipulate him into changing his mind. Secondly, they kept asking why he didn’t have a girlfriend yet, completely ignoring his hints that he would _never_ have one. Finally, they still treated him as strictly as they did when he was a clueless, obedient child. His parents were always extremely severe and they had been beside him every step of the way, making decisions in his place. Now that he had moved out, Keiji’s parents had lost their iron grip on him and it startled them. Their son wasn’t theirs to control anymore, and he sometimes made choices they didn’t agree to.

As his great aunt inquired for the umpteenth time whether the girls at school were interesting, he raised his normally stern voice. Shocked, his mother ordered him to calm down. Akaashi was fed up with their overwhelming directions and stereotypes. Bitter memories of his father belting him came back to his mind, as vivid as ever. That time, his genitor had discovered that Keiji had a failing grade in geography. Or was it that time when he found out that his desktop background was an exceptionally attractive male singer? He didn’t even remember, only the pain stayed clear.

“Why won’t you answer your aunt, Keiji? Be polite, she asked you something,” his mother said dryly, looking at her offspring with discontentment.

Akaashi’s blood boiled. He was tired of acting like he was the perfect son his parents had always idealised him to be. He wasn’t a puppet, and they weren’t pulling the strings anymore.

“I’ve already answered that question five times, Mother,” he responded calmly, but with certain harshness in his tone.

“And what is the question, dear?”

The dark-haired boy gulped, intimidated. The other’s eyes were also posed on his face, now. “She asked if I found any girls interesting. I already said no the first time.”

Suddenly, Keiji’s father intervened, which made the situation way worse than it already was. This conversation may have seemed like it was casual and open, but it truthfully wasn’t. Any discussion on their only son’s love life always heated his parents up. Akaashi’s reluctance about the subject made his them incredibly suspicious.

“Well, you should pay more attention to the ladies, son. If you were to end up single and miserable like your uncle Mitskuni, I would surely disown you.” The man had opted for a joking tone when saying that last phrase, but everyone knew very well that he meant every word.

Akaashi thought about Bokuto. He wanted him to be by his side so bad, just to give him the courage to stand up to his parents. His boyfriend’s golden eyes never failed to make him feel warm inside, like thousand of butterflies were flying under his chest. At first, Keiji had decided that he would never get involved with this stupid owl-like boy. Nevertheless, after a while, he couldn’t help but feel safe and cheerful when the other was around. He could mess up and be insecure all he wanted, Bokuto never left or reprimanded him. Akaashi loved the way the other could be serious when the time came. A mature and selfless attitude was concealed under his overjoyed personality.

He was shaking. A glimpse of white hair streaked with black flashed in his mind before he opened his mouth. “I don’t think I’ll ever pay attention to girls, Father. You see, I…uh, already am in love. I am in love with…with a boy.”

An oppressive silence filled the dining room. “Keiji, sweetheart, it’s just a phase. Every teen has a time in their life when they want to revolt; to differ with their parents…You’ll laugh about it in ten years or so!” His mom laughed dryly; she was visibly skeptical. She didn’t believe him at all. She thought he was putting on an act just to make her react.

Akaashi wanted to scream. He wanted to run back to Miyagi and cry in Bokuto’s arms. He wanted to feel his comforting hand against his curly hair and his familiar voice assuring him that everything was okay, that _he_ was okay.

“This is _not_ a phase! You think I am still a kid, that I am unable to take decisions for myself. You’ve always treated me like I was weak, like I was your marionette! He showed me I was worth more than that. If you’re not ready to accept that I am no longer your beloved doll, I am not ready to step into this house ever again,” he barked, letting all hell broke loose.

He got up and stormed out of the room, heading to his room to grab his belongings. He hadn’t expected to get this fuming and emotional, but those words had been the last straw.

The door flew open and Akaashi’s mom entered, tears streaming down her cold face. “I didn’t know you were this troubled,” she whimpered. For a brief moment, her son thought she was going to apologize and hug him, but he was fantasying. “I can pay for a therapist, anything you need, Keiji. Your father and I love you.”

“If _that_ is your idea of love, I don’t want it,” he spat, trembling. He had all the love he deserved back home. Akaashi started to head towards the exit, carefully avoiding his mother’s horrified gaze.

“Wait!” The boy brusquely turned around, struggling to suppress the tears that were about to burst out. “His name is Koutarou. Remember it, Mother. It is the name of someone who knows how to _love_ me.”

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

Bokuto was listening to his best friend’s story about kittens and Kenma when his phone lit up. He immediately stopped paying attention to Kuroo when he noticed who it was from. Akaashi was supposed to be with his family, and he would’ve never dared to touch his cellular while being with his relatives, especially to text him.

 _From: Sowlmate_ _♥♥_

_Hey, I’m going to come home early. Something happened; I’ll explain it when I get back. Love you xx_

Bokuto was overrun by a horrible sentiment of worry. Akaashi always acted like he was all right, but if he was coming back home in the middle of the night from his family’s house, something must’ve happened. The man knew exactly what it was like in his boyfriend’s household and had always insisted to go with him when he visited his parents, but the other refused. He didn’t want them to get suspicious if they accidentally showed too much affection or closeness.

“Bokuto? Bo, are you okay?” Kuroo inquired, also concerned by the weird look in his friend’s gaze.

“Something happened with Keiji’s family and he is coming back tonight.”

The black-haired boy sighed, defeated. He knew what it was like to have parents who don’t understand you, but Akaashi’s familial situation was truthfully horrible. “Come on, bro: we’re going to wait for him at the train station.”

The fact that he was going to be able to see his boyfriend soon eased Bokuto’s nerves a little bit. He always showed off a careless and overjoyed attitude, but when it came to the one he loved, he got worried incredibly fast and often resigned to affection to show how much he cared. Even though Akaashi seemed reluctant to show fondness in public, he was just as cuddly as him when he wasn’t feeling well.

The two companions waited in the cold in silence, subtly holding hands to keep themselves warm. They didn’t when their other friend would arrive, but they were ready to wait indefinitely. They just sat on an isolated bench, exchanging a few casual words once in a while. Kuroo continued his story about the small cats in order to stop Bokuto from concentrating on his nervousness.

“And then, I made sure Kenma wasn’t looking and I went back into the pet shop to…Hey, that’s Akaashi!”

The owl-like boy turned brusquely to assure himself that his boyfriend was really there and ran towards him as fast as he could. He hugged him tightly, well aware that Keiji would never forgive him if he kissed him in a public area. He took him by his shoulders and put his warm hand under his chin to induce eye-contact. Akaashi’s eyes were teary and he looked regretful.

“Babe, what happened with your parents? Wait, sorry, we’ll wait until we get home. I love you, I love you,” Bokuto continued to say those three words while he proceeded squeeze his lover into a bear hug again.

“I love you too, Koutarou.”

Kuroo was awkwardly standing behind his best friend, smiling warmly at Akaashi behind Bokuto’s back. He placed his hands around the latter’s waist and pretended to join the embrace, which caused the trio to chuckle. Under the snow, the charcoal sky and the ever glowing stars, they forgot all about the cold and the fears inside their hearts.

The three friends were back to the warmth of their apartment, strangely positioned on the couch in an uncomfortable manner that allowed everyone to fit on it. Finally, Kuroo just sat on the floor, his long legs spread in front of him. The boys waited for Akaashi to yarn what had happened. In the end, after a deep sigh, he spoke softly but with determination.

“I came out to my parents. I did it because I was angry and fed up, and it wasn’t exactly the…best moment,” the dark-haired man began.

“When is it _ever_ a good moment to come out to your family?” Bokuto replied, snorting.

Keiji bobbed his head. “Well, it was in the middle of dinner. My aunt kept asking me if I had a girlfriend or any frequentations, and when I answered dryly, my mom reprimanded me. I then proceeded to tell them that I would never have a damned _girlfriend_.”

Kuroo chuckled proudly, poking his friend in the ribs. “That’s courage, man.”

“Then, I rushed to my room and packed my luggage. My mother came in and I thought she was going to apologize, but she asked if I wanted to see a therapist,” Akaashi spat with visible irritation. His friends held their breath, incredulous.

“Before I left, I told her to remember the name ‘Koutarou’, because it was the name of someone who truly knew how to love me. I’m quite proud of this one, babe,” he finished, smugly looking at his boyfriend. The latter beamed and applauded, along with Kuroo. He had never liked Akaashi’s parents, and the fact that they now knew how much he loved their son made him incredibly happy. As if they were still children, the trio hugged joyfully and maladroitly.

“What about you guys? Did you do anything special while I was gone and suffering?” Keiji questioned, in order to change his state of mind.

The spiky-haired boy smiled widely, nodding in agreement. He then proceeded to describe his shopping session with Kenma in great detail and contentedly said that he had found a wonderful present for Bokuto, obviously omitting was it was. Subsequently, he stopped babbling and gazed at his friends, hesitant. They immediately knew that he was hiding something from them.

“So, guys…” He stopped and grinned. “Would you mind having a cat?”

“What?!” They exclaimed in unison.

“I reserved the black kitten that Kenma loved. He will be ready to go in a few weeks and we’ll have to keep it here until I find an appropriate moment to offer it to Kenma!” Kuroo announced as if he was simply describing the weather.

Bokuto groaned and threw his arms in the air. “I can’t even buy a bird and you get yourself a cat! Akaashi, I want a bird, it’s unfair!”

“Over my dead body, Koutarou!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Kudos and comments are really appreciated!! I'm so happy I got so many hits in such little time! :o


	8. Chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas chapter, ohohoh! Kenma's sisters are introduced, he has fun at Hinata's house and Kuroo talks with his parents. Also, Oikawa is a little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't supposed to update two chapters today, but a kind anon sent me a message on Tumblr (my tumblr is juuzousmom), so I wanted to post it! :D

After the trauma inducing incident in the parking lot, and Kenma had almost resigned his job. Yet, he knew very well that he couldn’t do that. His two sisters still weren’t working, and they were demanding more and more money. Of course, they weren’t aware of how much their brother was struggling to give it to them. Kenma had always pretended that everything was perfect and that his employment was enjoyable. Now that Christmas was coming, he almost couldn’t bear to hide his pain anymore.

Midori and Shizu, the twin sisters, weren’t stupid. They inherited a peaceful and observant character, just like their older brother. Sometimes, they were careless and noisy, but it was only to follow the lot and be as normal as their classmates. They never accepted to stay quiet and unaffected like Kenma. They needed to break free from the choking atmosphere of their household by expressing themselves out loud.

However, when their elder came back from the mall that day and broke down, the girls immediately knew that something had been wrong for a long time. Their brother never cried unless he had been accumulating and repressing negative feelings. Midori and Shizu simply embraced him, whispering encouraging words in his ear. Poignant waves of remorse overrun the twins. They wondered if Kenma was in pain because of their constant need of money. The girls had tried to stop asking for it, but they couldn’t let their friends pay for their basic needs forever without seeming suspicious.

Christmas was in two days but the house had never been as depressing and empty. The teenagers’ mother was locked in her room, probably shooting herself with illicit drugs or downing a bottle of alcohol. They could hear whimpering, which was like the normal soundtrack of their life. Distressing noises often came from their mother’s room, but no one dared to open the door.

“Kenma, you can tell us what’s wrong. We’re your sisters and we love you,” Shizu murmured lovingly. She was only thirteen, but her horrible situation had forced her to grow up way too fast. The brunette tried her best to enjoy things that teens her age liked. Unfortunately, the constant fear of being discovered and separated from her family continually shattered her happy spirits.

Midori began to weep along with her brother, her frail shoulder shaking uncontrollably. “It’s because of us, isn’t it? We’re such horrible sisters! You should stop overworking yourself and leave us alone…”

The blonde deign to look at the young girls. Tears were still rolling down his cheeks, but he made no sobbing noise. “I’m hopeless. I can’t even buy you a proper Christmas present, even though I keep working and…doing things that I hate,” Kenma muttered shamefully. “I am a stripper. Your big brother dances for sickening men. It’s not them who are disgusting, it’s me.”

The twins were shocked for a moment, but continued to hug him. In this world, you couldn’t survive just by working a part-time job that wasn’t well-paid, especially now that their absent father had stopped providing them. They knew that very well, but they had still hoped the best for their brother. They stayed blind to the terrible possibilities.

“You’re not disgusting, you’re strong. We don’t need anything for Christmas, we just want you to be happy,” Midori declared, wiping her tears away and standing up. Shizu nodded in agreement.

“We’ll turn fourteen in January and you won’t have to pay for us anymore. You’ll be able to stop doing things you hate,” the small girl affirmed.

Kenma smiled. Perhaps his life wasn’t the best, but his family was still there for him. He wondered why he hadn’t told them about his job sooner. His sisters were mature enough to understand him. Maybe it was because the boy was ready to destroy himself in order to keep others whole.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

After this incident, Kenma and his sisters started to talk to each other more often. They felt relieved from a lot of pressure and it helped them to forget about the terrible whines of their ill mother. Sharing their thoughts and fears made them hope for a better life and a brighter future. The siblings were especially cheerful today, since it was Christmas Eve. Exceptionally this year, they weren’t going to spend it alone at their miserable household. Hinata had invited Kenma and the twins to come celebrate the holiday with his him, his mother and his young sister. The idea of being seated under a decorated Christmas tree with his best friend made Kenma’s heart burn with happiness. He truly was grateful.

“Shizu, give me back my skirt! I was planning on wearing it tonight!” Midori groaned.

“Okay, take it back. I like dresses better anyway,” she retorted, taking off her bottom.

Their brother was struggling to find something to wear, too. He didn’t have that many elegant clothes, but his choice finally landed on dark jeans, a blue chemise and a white cardigan. Making sure that he wasn’t being seen, he carefully applied his sisters’ concealer on the dark bags under his eyes. He was almost done when Midori entered the bathroom and burst out laughing.

Vigilantly, she observed his face and sighed. “That’s not how you blend makeup, Kenma. Your skin looks orange now…Here, let me do it for you.”

Alerted by the laughing noises, Shizu’s head popped into the door frame, interested. She suddenly jumped and squealed happily, approaching her big brother. “Onii-chan, I’ve always thought your skin was perfect for makeup! Your cheeks are all pale, I should apply blush!” she proclaimed cheerfully.

Kenma was going to protest, but the look on his sister’s face held him back. He let them do whatever they wanted with his face and, when they were finally over, he had to admit that they were quite talented. He didn’t look like he had makeup on; he just seemed less tired. When the makeup artist at the bar did that to him, he looked like a straight up prostitute. Not that he had anything against them, though. It just wasn’t his style.

He thanked the twins and walked towards the exit door, ready to go. He just hoped Hinata wouldn’t notice anything different.

As soon as he knocked, the door flied open, revealing a tiny orange-haired girl. Natsu ran into Kenma’s arms, shouting his name. Without delay, she waved at the twins, who smiled with all their teeth.

“Guys, come in, you’re going to catch a cold!” Mrs Hinata exclaimed. “Shouyou is in the bathroom, he should come down in a min…there he is.”

“Ken-maaaaaaaaaaa!”

The blonde had the very good reflex of letting go of Natsu, or else she would’ve been crushed by her big brother’s weight. Kenma hugged his best friend back, noticing how he smelled like mint and sunflowers. Hinata took his hand and dragged him towards the Christmas tree. He looked up and gasped when he realised that he had forgotten to put the star on top of the fir.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea popped in Hinata’s head. Well, it depends on your definition of the word ‘brilliant’, that is.

The ginger glazed at Kenma, his eyes shining. “Take me on your shoulders! I need to put the star on the tree.”

The taller boy couldn’t resist the cute smile that kept growing on his friend’s lips. A bit reluctant, he nodded and tried to position himself so that he would be able to hold Hinata’s weight. After a few tries, they succeeded and the orange-haired teen threw his hands in the air, causing him to almost fall from Kenma’s shoulders. The blonde couldn’t see what his friend was putting on top of the tree, but, hearing his repressed giggles, it definitely wasn’t a simple star.

“Shouyou, what are you doing?” He finally demanded, kneeling so Hinata could disembark from his shoulders. Kenma looked up and, hit with realisation, burst into a sincere laughter.

Where a star would normally be standing was a picture of Hinata and Kageyama, arm in arm and smiling. They seemed truly happy and a little sweaty. The picture was probably taken after a victorious match of volleyball.

“We’re going to be stars, after all! Kageyama promised that we would go to the Olympics together, one day,” he dreamingly added, staring at the joyful picture.

“Shouyou, my dear, stop importuning Kenma! He surely has heard enough of your sappy boyfriend stories,” Mrs Hinata shouted from the other room. She was totally fine with her son’s relationship with Kageyama. For her, as long as Shouyou was happy, nothing else mattered. Sometimes, Kenma caught himself being jealous. He wished he had a mother that cared about him and helped him deal with his confusing emotions. He was shaken out of his thoughts by the sound of Natsu’s silly laugh. She was playing with Midori and Shizu upstairs and they seemed to be having a lot of fun. Here, Kenma felt like he was really home.

The rest of the evening went incredibly well and time passed way too fast. They ate turkey, mashed potatoes and green peas while discussing various topics. Midori talked a lot that night, saying that she truly loved children and wanted to become a teacher and Natsu joyfully clapped her hands. It made Kenma think of Kuroo. What was he doing right now? He stared off into space, wondering how other people celebrated this holiday. In Japan, the majority of people weren’t Christians, but they still did something special, like visiting their relatives.

After dinner, Hinata and Kenma climbed the stairs and locked themselves in the younger boy’s room. They knew what was coming; it was time for long, deep discussions about what was going on in their lives. The two best friends loved to chat like this for hours, distractingly being on their phone at the same time or simply listening to the other’s stories. They sat leg-crossed on Hinata’s bed; Kenma’s back facing the ginger’s front. Exceptionally, since it was Christmas Eve, the blonde let his friend carefully play with his hair. He had always loved to play with people’s hair, while Kenma hated being touched.

“So, Shouyou, how is it going with volleyball?” He inquired, breaking the ice.

“I think our team is really improving. We’re all developing new techniques and a lot of the third years are being offered scholarships by sport colleges.” He stopped, hesitating for a few seconds before continuing. “Kageyama and I have been selected by a team.”

“That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you…,” Kenma muttered and hugged him shyly, knowing very well that this was the only real way of showing how happy he truly was. “Talking of Tobio, you guys really are in love, uh?”

Hinata played with Kenma’s hair with more liveliness. “Yeah…At first, I hate him, but we slowly became friends, then partners and then…oh, Kenma, I couldn’t even look at him without stuttering and blushing!”

His friend giggled. An image of Hinata missing all of his spikes because he was staring at his setter came into his mind.

“Today, we won a match against a very strong team. We were able to do it because of our freak quick and, when we set the last point, Kageyama ran towards me and…he kissed me! He did it in front of everyone! The team wasn’t even surprised, that is.”

There was a pause and Hinata blinked, beaming like an idiot. Kenma envied him for this, too. He was blindly in love and the person loved him back just as much. It seemed like his friends were all getting into serious relationships while he was still alone, troubled and unsure of himself.

“Let’s get into the _crispy_ topic now,” Shouyou declared mischievously. “What do you think of Kuroo Tetsurou?”

The blonde almost choked on his own saliva. “Uh…he’s nice…”

“And _hot_ ,” the short boy added.

“…and hot,” Kenma admitted timidly. “To be honest, I don’t really know what to think of Kuroo. I feel safe when I am with him and I can talk freely, but, at the same time, he just seems too good for me. He has an amazing personality, friends, a bright future…and I’m a stripper.”

Hinata almost hit him. “Kenma, don’t you dare say that! You’re the sweetest human being in the universe! You deserve the best. It doesn’t matter what you do. In fact, you do it for your family!”

 “Thank you. There is a weird thing, though. Normally, I hate being touched, but when his hand brushes against mine, or when he gently strokes my hair…I would never want him to stop. It’s like everything about him is so…tender. He’s surrounded by this aura of safety and warmth…” Kenma stopped abruptly when he noticed the weird look of his best friend’s face. It wasn’t a good sign.

“Oh, boy, you like him! You should totally try and make it work.”

“How are you so sure?”

Hinata stared at his feet. He was having an internal dilemma, it was obvious. Finally, he opened his mouth and words burst out so fast and low that Kenma could barely distinguish them. “…He likes you.”

This simple sentence made Kenma’s heart feel like it was going to implode. It was impossible; Shouyou just wanted to give him hope so he would be less scared to talk to Kuroo. It was something his best friend would surely do. Still, the thought of someone as beautiful and gentle and Kuroo liking someone like _him_ made him feel nervous. He wasn’t sure if this strange uneasiness was a great feeling or not.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

“I like him!” Kuroo yelled, pointing at a picture of one of his relatives. He had forgotten his name, but he remembered the times when he took him to the nearest park during summer.

“He died three years ago, Tetsurou,” his dad said, trying to keep a straight face.

“The good ones all die so fast,” Kuroo declared, clutching to his shirt in a dramatic manner. He theatrically wiped away a fake tear.

His mother laughed nonchalantly, ruffling her son’s hair. Surprisingly, the atmosphere tonight was light. The boy had unwrapped a few presents from his parents and they had calmly talked about his college choice. He didn’t know what happened while he was gone, but they were definitely more accepting of his interests now. Was it because he was officially an adult?

Everything was going incredibly well. They held mature conversations and Kuroo noticed that the tone his parents were employing wasn’t as patronizing as it used to be. Startled by this sudden change, he began to be suspicious. As soon as his mother noticed her child’s disbelieving attitude, she glanced at her husband and nodded.

“Now that you moved out, we realised that you aren’t our little child anymore. When you were gone, we missed you so much. We discussed about it and we’re…we’re so proud of you, Tetsurou. You have an exceptionally kind soul and I know it can benefit to others, even if it isn’t in the way we had planned for you. Also, now that you have a boyfriend, we won’t be able to see each other much…” She stopped when she heard the sound of someone choking on their own saliva.

Kuroo burst into laughter. “A boyfriend? Mom, what are you saying?”

“Well, you’re always at Koutarou’s house, and you are always so affectionate with him,” she stuttered, blushing. “I, uh…we thought that you guys were together. Sorry.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. Actually, he’s dating someone right now. However, I’m really happy that you never made a big deal out of, you know…me being gay. The parents of Bokuto’s boyfriend offered him _therapy_.”

Kuroo’s father gasped, horrified. His mom put her hand over her forehead as a sign of exasperation. “People these days really have no idea how to live in society. If your child is happy, it’s all that matters. Besides, Koutarou-san is an amazing person.”

The young man’s parents had always been exceptionally supporting of him and his sexual orientation. In fact, as far as he recalled, Kuroo had never repressed himself from telling his parents about his crushes on boys. The first one went back to kindergarten. He remembered his four years-old self cheerfully recounting how cute and generous his childhood best friend was. He had constantly been bluntly honest with his mother and father, unaware of the singularity of his infatuations. Actually, his relationship with his parents had been amazing until a few months ago, when they started to question his choices and his maturity.

Overrun by an powerful feeling of love and happiness, the black-haired boy hugged his parents. He had no idea why or how they had come to the conclusion that their troublesome child wasn’t the same anymore, but he would forever be thankful. Here, under the Christmas tree, surrounded by his accepting family, Kuroo couldn’t have been more contented.

“Although, talking about boyfriends…I have someone that I like. I swear he is the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen! I’ll introduce him to you soon,” he winked. A flash of cat-like golden eyes and bleached hair came to his mind and he smiled. Perhaps his life wasn’t half as bad as he thought.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

The next morning, Kuroo, along with seven other people, woke up to the sound of his phone’s typical ringing. The sun had just begun to rise and whoever had sent him this text would probably pay with their life.

_From: Tooru the alien fucker_

 **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading your comments make me so happy! Also, I think there will only be 12 chapters instead of 13. I can't wait to post the ninth chapter, it's my favorite!!!


	9. Chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa's New Year's Eve party!

The day of Oikawa’s New Year’s party, Kenma had never felt so anxious since the first time he had danced on stage. He definitely didn’t enjoy behind surrounded by a lot of people and, to be honest, the only get-togethers he was invited to were Hinata’s. He had extensively hesitated, weighing the pros and the cons, but had finally decided to man up and attend it. Besides, he had invited his ginger friend, who had also called some of his acquaintances. In addition, Kuroo would probably be happy to see him…right?

Kenma still wasn’t sure if he wanted to trust Shouyou’s words. He thought that maybe his best friend wanted to cheer him up and boost his self-confidence, but he still hoped for something else. The blonde didn’t know if he desired it to be true or not. He was a poor and miserable boy living with his drug-addicted mother and dancing for money. Kuroo had his life together, a good family and a promising future ahead of him. He was beautiful in an otherworldly way, the kind of beauty that overwhelmed your senses and melted your heart. Nevertheless, Kenma, an incredibly shy being, still felt secure and free when he was around him. The warmth of Kuroo’s arms around his body when he saved him from his aggressor was still fresh in his mind.

Carefully, the short boy examined his clothes and tried to decide what to wear. How did you dress to go to a party? He finally settled upon dark trousers and a violet long-sleeved shirt that Midori and Shizu had bought him for Christmas. Purple had always been his favorite color. Furthermore, the tight fabric perfectly emphasised his frail forms and the pants superbly contrasted with the color of the shirt. Satisfied, Kenma looked at himself in the mirror one last time and left his bedroom.  A loud knock on the door made him jump. His lift had probably arrived. Saluting his sisters, the blonde got in Kageyama’s car, hugged Hinata and tried to calm his nerves.

“Maybe you’re going to have your first kiss tonight!” the ginger cheerfully exclaimed, as if he was totally oblivious to his friend’s palpable nervousness. Kenma almost choked on thin air and felt his heart skip a beat. He visualised Kuroo’s soft, heated lips on his and his cheeks reddened, making his companions chuckle.

Oikawa Tooru’s house was the biggest Kenma had ever seen. At the doorstep, their host was happily waiting for them. He gave them all a bear hug and offered them to enter. The decoration was stylishly rustic, but a few contrasting metallic items were added to create a more modernized look.

“The children are being taken care of upstairs by the maids and the adults will stay on the first floor to celebrate. We, teenagers, have the basement to ourselves! I hope you’re ready to party!” Oikawa enthusiastically declared. He then proceeded to introduce his knew guest to his mother. The woman looked just like her son. Her wavy brown hair was perfectly styled and her chocolate eyes shone with delightful malice.

“I am always glad to meet Tooru’s friends,” she said with a sweet but solemn voice.

Kenma wondered how it was like to live in a family like this. Even though they looked and acted alike, Oikawa didn’t seem very close to his mother. The way he addressed her was too formal and his carefree attitude had completely disappeared the moment he noticed her presence. He definitely knew what it was like to be lonely inside his own home.

As soon as they entered the basement, cheering sounds were heard. The background music was catchy, but not too loud. A few balloons were floating on the high ceiling and multiple ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’ banners were hung on the wooden walls. Kageyama and Hinata spotted their friends Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Yachi in the small crowd and went to speak to them. Kenma merely saluted them, too shy to go and start a proper conversation. He ambled in the huge room, looking for a wide grin and spiky black hair. They found him before he did.

“If this isn’t my favorite kitten!” Kuroo shouted, hugging the blonde from behind and ruffling his hair. The faint tickling of the other’s breath on his neck sent shivers down Kenma’s spine. He turned around to properly greet his friend.

“Good evening, Kuro. How were the holidays with your family?” He asked as Kuroo grabbed his hand and leaded him towards the nearest couch. They sat down, knees touching, and Kenma had never been so grateful to the sieved lighting of a room.

“It went surprisingly well. They accepted my career choice and treated me as an equal. I don’t know what happened to them when I was at Bokuto’s house, but they really came back to their normal state! Talking about Christmas, I got you a gift! It’s nothing, really,” he added hastily, handing him a small box. Curious, Kenma opened it and smiled when he discovered a feathery pair of purple gloves and socks.

“You, uh…I noticed that your hands and feet were always freezing. And you often wear purple clothes, so…” He was interrupted by a light weight around his shoulders. The younger boy was hugging him closely, breathing the spicy scent of his body.

It wasn’t a big or expensive present, but for him, it meant everything. Except his sisters and Hinata, no one had ever offered him something. Kuroo had thought of him, of his cold body and of his favorite color. Lost in his thoughts, Kenma almost forgot how long he had been clinging to his friend and shyly pushed him away, blushing.

“Kuroo Tetsurou, what the fuck?! You told me this was a costumed party! I hate you; I’m going to fart on you until you suffocate!” An angry voice resonated in the room and all heads turned the provenance of the sound. Bokuto was standing at the bottom of the stairs, wearing green and red stripped tights, moccasins and elf ears. Kuroo had to run around the room screaming to avoid being tickled to death by his best friend, much to Akaashi’s amusement. He knew that it at all been a joke, but the sight of his boyfriend in stripped tights wasn’t something you’d have the opportunity to see often.

Kenma, now alone on the couch, wondered how Kuroo could be so sweet and caring and transform into a cheeky troublemaker in a matter of seconds. He figured that his friend had many personalities, just like him. Sometimes, the blonde liked to be silent, but with other people, he could talk for hours. Right now, he just wanted to have a discussion with Kuroo, but that was rather impossible during a party when both Oikawa and Bokuto were present. This trio would be the death of him.

Just as he thought about hiding in the bathroom for the rest of the evening, a grey-haired guy with cat-like eyes grabbed his arms and walked him towards the other side of the room.

“You’ll be my partner for the next beer pong match. I had a good feeling. My name is Lev, by the way,” he simply says as if it was totally natural. He was extremely tall, but his friendly behavior made Kenma at ease. He still didn’t particularly like the guy, though.

“Oi, Lev, this is _my_ partner,” he heard a familiar voice state behind his ear. Warm hands grabbed his waist and pulled him away from the guy with ashen hair. Kuroo looked down at Kenma, pending approval. The blonde simply nodded, flushed from the sudden touch of his behind with the boy’s legs. Kuroo had decided that he wasn’t letting his old teammate steal his crush for the night. Lev simply walked away, seeking for his next prey.

The two teens headed for the table of beer pong. Kenma had never played before, but he had always been good at calculating parables. He just hoped that his new partner was willing to down the drinks for him, because he definitely wasn’t getting drunk in front of so many people. The last time he had too much alcohol, he threw up all over Hinata’s favorite volleyball shorts. It seemed like Kuroo had somehow understood that, because he handed him the small ball and proudly affirmed that he and Bokuto would deal with the shooters. The first match was against Oikawa and Iwaizumi, a guy Kenma figured to be his boyfriend. The two men seemed overly confident, but, as soon as the real game started, they couldn’t manage to plant the ball in a single red cup.

Kenma, however, discovered himself a special talent. Every time he aimed at a cup, it always landed perfectly and his opponents had to down all of its content, much to Kuroo’s enjoyment. His partner kept cheering and high-fiving him, excessively excited to see Oikawa get drunk so early in the evening. Apparently, it was a sight not to be missed. As the blonde threw the ball perfectly for the eight times, more people started agglutinating around the table, all applauding his weird but undeniable skills.

“You won’t get me like this, pudding-head,” the chocolate-haired boy declared before propelling the ball two meters away from his target. He downed his last red cup and pouted, mumbling something that sounded like ‘people with natural talent piss me off’.

Soon after came Lev and Yaku, both determined to win this round. Obviously, they utterly failed and ended up with the taller boy going to the bathroom in haste to avoid his friend’s foot on his bottom.

After a little while, the game became boring and they stopped playing, leaving Kenma as the big winner of the night. Even though Kuroo had drunk a few shooters, he remained totally lucid. The two of them surely were the only people who were still totally there mentally. As they realised the consequences of their absolute win, they sat on the couch and exhaled loudly. There was no one to hold an intelligent conversation with anymore, except maybe the blonde teen with glasses and his freckled companion, but they were nowhere to be seen.

Bokuto suddenly busted in, followed by an exasperated Akaashi. “Why is everyone in this damned place so gay?”

“Birds of a feather flock together, Koutarou,” his boyfriend suggested mockingly.

“I don’t understand a word of your nonsense,” was his only answer. They continued to argue as they wandered around the room, the white-haired boy pointing at every couple he saw and horrifyingly exclaiming ‘homosexuals!’ while, ironically, still holding hands with Akaashi.

After this strange episode, Kuroo and Kenma were left alone on the sofa, subtly staring when they thought the other wasn’t looking. It was a comfortable silence, but both of them wanted to talk about everything and nothing.

“Thank you…for the mittens. It means a lot. I didn’t get you anything…”

“Don’t worry about it. You can repay me by holding my hand when I’m cold, though,” Kuroo said, blushing when he realised the words that just came out of his mouth.

Surprisingly, Kenma nodded and, remembering his best friend’s encouraging words, reached for his fingers. They were warm and immediately heated his own. The older boy’s hand twitched at the touch and his cheeks reddened even more intensely. Motivated by the blonde’s attempted display of affection, Kuroo leaned his head on Kenma’s shoulder and mindlessly stroked his palm with his thumb. He smelled like vanilla and fresh laundry, a scent violently contrasting by the reeks of alcohol in the air. They stayed still for a few minutes, still unsure of their own interior feelings. Could the other feel the loud beating of their heart? Could they sense the trembling of their fingers?

“Why do you dance, Kenma?” Kuroo had hesitated to pronounce this sentence, but he still wanted to know. After all, he knew that it wasn’t for his own pleasure.

“My dad is gone and my mom is a drug addict. I have two teenage sisters. A simple job at minimum wage wasn’t enough, so I…I chose _this_ ,” he whispered, shocked by his own bluntness.

As Kuroo encouragingly nodded, he continued his story, including every small detail. He let it all out as if he wasn’t the one talking: the way his mother used to abuse him after shooting herself, the way his sisters needed him to survive, the way disgusting men kept trying to take advantage of his body. Kenma confessed how much he _hated_ looking at the crowd while he danced. People staring at him with avid eyes and licking their lips, throwing money at his feet was a sight that he would always loathe. He told him how he sometimes wanted to disappear from this world. He would simply vanish, leaving his entire burden behind. After all, only very few would miss him.

At those words, Kuroo caressed his arm with infinite tenderness. He wasn’t being pitiful; he sincerely cared for him, and that made Kenma’s heart pound in his chest. Someone who noticed the smallest things and worried about him…Was it too good to be true?

“You will escape this mess, Kenma, I promise you. People love you,” Kuroo assured him, pushing him lightly in order to look at his face. “We haven’t known each other for that long, but I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

They hugged, totally oblivious to the loud techno music resonating in the background. Kuroo stroked Kenma’s hair with one hand and held him with the other. “You know, when you first came in the club. Did you feel something when our eyes met?”

The black-haired boy was completely startled. So, he _had_ noticed him. “You mean a pounding heart, shivers all over my body and utter admiration? Of course not,” Kuroo sarcastically said. They smiled. “I always thought that you had never seen me, though. You secretive boy!”

“I didn’t know if you had recognized me, so I didn’t want to be weird. I saw you enter every night, and it was visibly not for the view,” Kenma laughed. “Why did you come?”

“Uh…”

Miraculously, the New Year countdown began as Kuroo was awkwardly searching for an acceptable answer. How could he tell him why he had come without looking like a complete stalker?

_5…_

They got up and walked towards the crowd.

_4…_

Wait, couples were staring at each other. Were they supposed to kiss? Would it mean something?

_3…_

Resolved, Kuroo leaned towards Kenma’s face, blushing like crazy.

_2…_

His lips were rosy and slightly shivering with anticipation. They seemed cold and Kuroo wanted to warm them with his.

_1…_

Kenma closed his golden eyes and Kuroo’s heart had never beaten so fast in his entire life.

_Happy New Year!_

Their lips finally met. They kissed softly but sincerely and Kenma’s mouth was the sweetest thing Kuroo had ever tasted. He extended his arms and wrapped them around the other’s waist, bringing him closer. It wasn’t a dirty thing; it was innocent, the hesitant moves of two inexperienced teenagers. Their embrace was short-lived but it had given the impression of lasting forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm really sorry for the late update, I've been busy with school! Also, I feel kind of sad because Kuroken stopped being my main ship a few weeks ago and writing this fic has become more of a task than a hobby. I'll finish it, but sorry if it is a bit rushed and not as emotional as you wanted it to be. Love you all!


	10. Chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo and Kenma meet a few weeks after the party. Kuroo has a surprise for Kenma.

After the kiss, Kuroo and Kenma had just pretended that nothing had happened. They continued to talk, even though they acted a bit more shy than usual. They both kept staring at each other’s lips, unsure of themselves. After all, it was just a tradition to kiss someone on New Year’s Eve, right? It didn’t have a deep meaning.

When he came back that night, he was shocked to find out that his mother wasn’t in her room anymore. He frantically searched for Midori and Shizu, but they were also nowhere to be seen. Of course, due to their financial situation, they didn’t have a cell phone. He panicked, feeling crippling remorse overwhelm him. He should’ve been there. What if their mother had attacked them? It wouldn’t have been the first time. Normally, she mistook Kenma for her husband and tried to sting him with her dirty needle, calling him all sorts of terrible names.

  The familiar ringing of a phone interrupted his thoughts. It was from an unknown number, but he still answered, extremely worried.

“Hello, Kenma? This is Shizu. We’re at the local hospital, room 154. Something happened to mom…Please come.” The call ended as brusquely as it started.

Kenma immediately grabbed his coat and ran out of his house. He knew that trouble was coming. Now, they would be obligated to tell everything to the doctors and the social services would be alerted. This miserable yet painful train of life would stop, and he didn’t know how to feel about it.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

It had been two weeks since the party and Kenma hadn’t contacted Kuroo yet. It wasn’t that he was trying to avoid him; he was just extremely busy. When he arrived to the hospital, he discovered that his mom had a drug overdose. She was going to live, but she would have permanent brain damage. Maybe that’s why she deserved, after all. Ironically, she now needed help to execute simple things, like dressing up, for the rest of her life. Her children wouldn’t be there for her, though. Why would they help a mother who made them live hell?

Nevertheless, Kenma was occupied. Now that the truth was out there, his sisters and he couldn’t stay alone in their house, even if they had technically been this way for ages. The older brother wasn’t major yet, but it was only a matter of months. They had to find somewhere to live until then. At the moment, they were sheltered by the Hinata family. Kenma didn’t accept at first—he didn’t want to be a burden for anyone—but living with his best friend was quite the dream. Shizu and Midori were always smiling, playing with Natsu as if she was their own sister. Kenma and Shouyou had to sleep in the same bed because of the lack of space, but they didn’t mind. To be honest, they stayed up most of the night anyways.

The blonde was presently lying on his friend’s bed, playing a new game on his phone. He knew that he should be thinking about the future, but he was far too nervous. He didn’t want to be separated from his sisters, or start a new life with an unknown family. He knew he wouldn’t feel welcomed. However, he couldn’t bring himself to ask Shouyou to live with him.

“Hey Kenma, stop ruminating in silence…I can help you, you know,” the ginger carefully muttered.

“Do you think my sisters would be better off in a foster home? It’s probably that’s what they need, and I’m just too selfish to admit it. Maybe they would’ve been better off there from the start. I should’ve called the social services long ago,” Kenma sighed, suddenly regretting all of his life choices.

Hinata ruffled his companion’s hair. “I do think that it would be good for them to have an actual family. You’re wonderful, Kenma, you’ve always been, but you’ll never be their dad. It’s time for you to live your life and stop taking it all on yourself.”

The older boy stared at the ceiling for a while, hesitant. He would do what was best for Shizu and Midori. He didn’t have the chance to live a normal adolescence, but his sisters definitely would: he would make sure of it.

“If I ask the social worker to find them a good home, can I stay with you?” Kenma asked, looking away.

“I have one condition. No, actually I have two! The first one is that you need to call Kuroo _right now_. The second one is that you need to leave your job at the club. I will not tolerate you being unhappy any longer,” Hinata affirmed, hands on his hips in a motherly way.

His friend chuckled and started to type something on his phone. He brought it to his ear, smiling. “Hello, Kuroo? This is Kenma. I wanted to tell you that I quit my job.”

Sometimes, Hinata truly was the best.

⋆  ⋆  ⋆

It took two days for Kenma to resign from being a dancer. He weighted the pros and the cons, and living with his best friend definitely was worth leaving a job you loathed. He even burned his old corset, thighs and cat ears with Hinata, who also chose to find a better workplace. He didn’t know, however, that he had decided to keep a spare stripping costume. After all, maybe he would need it at some point. He did not spend years of his life pole-dancing solely for the enjoyment of strangers.

It took him three days to finally make plans with Kuroo. Kenma kept thinking about the warmth of his lips on his and how he had been neglecting him for the past three weeks. He was so overwhelmed by everything that happened that he almost didn’t consider his feelings for the black-haired boy. Now that he wasn’t as busy anymore, he couldn’t restrain himself from imagining his arms around him when he would explain why he had been so quiet. Maybe, if a miracle happened, he would kiss him again.

They met up at Kuroo’s apartment later in the afternoon. Even though he was always comfortable to be himself around him, Kenma couldn’t help but be a little bit nervous. The door opened and a tall, grinning boy welcomed him.

“Hey, it’s my favorite kitten!” Kuroo exclaimed. “You’re wearing the mittens I gave you.”

The blonde nodded, wiggling his fingers inside of the gloves. They were warm and soft, just like the hand of a certain someone right in front of him. He entered the house and looked around, smiling at the failed attempt to hide the messiness of the room.

“Oh, oh, oh, Kenma is here!” A voice shouted in the back. Bokuto and Akaashi were on the couch, cuddling while watching a documentary about birds. The boys seemed to be pretty into it, especially when the narrator started to talk about owls.

“I’m so sorry; I forgot to ask you to bring your stuff for the night. We planned to watch a movie and eat popcorn! Don’t worry, I’ll just give you one of my shirts as a pyjama. It will be too large though,” Kuroo kept babbling, playing with his ear piercing. Bokuto laughed and turned away to look at his friend.

“You did it on purpose! You just want to see him in your oversized shirt,” he accused jokingly, although it was the truth. Kuroo had always loved small people in big clothes. Kenma blushed and looked down, suddenly very interested by the color of the carpet.

The black-haired boy took his wrist and led him towards his room, sticking out his tongue to Bokuto, who was suggestively winking. They sat on the bed and stayed silent for a few instants, unsure of where to start.

“I’m…” They both said at the same time. “Sorry, you go first,” Kuroo continued.

Kenma truly wanted to tell Kuroo everything, so he did. He first announced the news of his mom’s drug overdose and explained all the damage that she would now have to live with. She had memory problems, lack of coordination and cognitive difficulties. If she had been deprived of oxygen for a few more minutes, her brain would’ve totally stopped working. Kenma didn’t know how to deal with this. He wanted to feel some kind of sadness, or at least some empathy, but the only thing he felt was overwhelming relieve that he didn’t have to hear her terrible whimpers at night. Now that she was gone, the social services were contacted and he had to take life changing decisions. His sisters and he couldn’t live in their house alone anymore, since Kenma wasn’t an adult yet.

He put in plain words how he chose to accept the social worker’s suggestion of looking for a foster home for Shizu and Midori. The eldest was already too independent to start a new life with a new family, so he would have to either live with one of his friends or accept the fact that he would be totally alien to this train of life.

Kenma chose to live with Hinata, his best friend since as long as he could remember. He had asked the social worker to find a home for his sisters not too far from where he would live, because he still wanted to visit them as often as possible. For him, this was a lot to process. Not so long ago, he was still literally working his ass off as an exotic dancer for his family to survive. However, he was overly happy to live with Hinata. His sister and he had always been like second siblings to him, and his mother was the kindest woman he knew.

As if he was talking to himself, Kenma kept explaining how he felt with details that he kept buried deep in his mind. For some reason, telling it all to Kuroo didn’t seem scary at all: it was safe and natural. As the other boy listened to him carefully, his thumb mindlessly stroking his palm, Kenma felt a burning sensation in his chest. He didn’t know for how long he had been soliloquizing, but his friend hadn’t pronounced a word. It wasn’t like he had nothing to say; he was just paying attention and judging that the only thing Kenma needed was an ear to confide.

The blonde continued by confessing how much he had been secretly wanting that this situation ended. He didn’t notice at first, since he had been living like this since his childhood, but carrying the entire burden himself was way too much. He wanted his family to stay together, but maybe that wasn’t what was best. A loving foster home was better than a cold, miserable house full of bad memories. Shizu and Midori needed responsible adults to help them live their lives at the fullest. Even if Kenma tried his best to guide them, he was quite lost himself.

Suddenly, he felt strong arms around his neck and warm breathing on his shoulders. “I’m so happy that you’re telling me all of this, Kenma,” Kuroo whispered. He didn’t know why the blonde trusted him so much, but he was thankful that he was finally letting go of his fears and regrets.

“I don’t have anything special to confess, but there is something I wanted to show you. I think that now is the right time,” he secretively continued, getting up and walking towards Bokuto’s room. Kenma followed him, curious and relieved by all of his talking.

When Kuroo came back, he was carrying something small and dark against his chest. It was a kitten, its yellow eyes almost glowing with playfulness. Everything immediately clicked in his head and he couldn’t help but gasp as he reached and took the cat in his arms. It was just as fluffy as he remembered, but a little heavier.

“Kuroo, I don’t know what to say,” Kenma murmured, speechless. He had always adored cats, but he never thought that he would see this one again. “It reminds me of you,” he stated blissfully, looking up at Kuroo with indescribable happiness.

The boy laughed, nodding silently. He didn’t know which one was the most adorable: the kitten or Kenma. “I have to admit that I am quite attacked to her. I’ve been keeping her for a week now.”

“Did you name her?”

“Ocarina,” Kuroo answered, half proudly and half shamefully. “Remember, when we first met, we had a debate on which Zelda game was the best…”

He did remember, and he also remembered how his friend had promised him to prove him that his favorite was the best. Didn’t he mention something about having all the games, also? The two of them stared at the cat for a few seconds, its purring filing the silence.

“Next time I come, I’ll bring my console,” Kenma declared, excited at the idea of playing games. “A Link to the Past _truly_ is amazing, though…”

Kenma almost jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and warm lips against his cold ones. It was quick and messy, almost like Kuroo had been closing his eyes, but it was undeniably a kiss. His heart pumped against his chest and he felt his cheeks redden, but the other boy was already walking away. He tried to hide his smile and his blush as he headed towards the couch…without much success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Again, I'm so sorry for this rushed chapter. Don't worry, I plan on posting a Bokuro fanfic here some day and I promise I won't stop liking the pairing half way, ehe. I think I'll end this story with chapter 11, and I'm sorry if the chapter doesn't wrap up everything. This was fun to write, and thank you for the kudos and comments! xx


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